What moves you to worry?
Being open and feeling good, I suddenly start to worry:
What time are we supposed to leave? Do we need to bring drinks? Will any shops be open? Are we swimming? What is the plan?
I want to stop the worry before it arises. But how can I do that?
Motivation – what moves you?
Motivation is literally what moves you – into action, into thought, into focus.
I don’t enjoy the worry, so why am I embracing worried thoughts? What moves me?
It’s always either desire or aversion that makes us move. I’m moved to worry because I desire something or because I’m trying to avoid something.
If I pay attention I can feel a more intense fear behind the worry. A fear of consequences if I don’t start worrying.
Worry gives the illusion of control, a sense of preparedness, but it is still an expression of fear and a focus on the unwanted aspects of life.
This is a big deal. Worries feel bad, but we reach for them to avoid feeling something worse.
We want to be worried, we just aren’t at all happy about it. We don’t like being worried, but we keep unconsciously choosing it.
Knowing that I want to worry helps me understand why worry is so hard to shake. It’s hard to shake off something that you keep picking up!
Facing the fear
Fear of consequences is what motivates me to worry.
I fear what will happen if I’m late, or if I don’t plan the trip well or if I make a social faux pas.
Fear of vague and unspecified consequences is deeply uncomfortable, and it makes sense that I would choose to worry about more specific and tangible things.
There’s not much more to say at this point, but by becoming conscious of worry as a choice I can choose not to worry and experience the fear instead.
Face the fear, see that the consequences never come, and enjoy the relief of letting the worry go.