It’s a game…07!

A friend shared with me an A-H quote on allowing as the ideal state of being to inhabit.

So I’ve been giving it a try, letting “allowing” be my response to everything.

And yeah it’s noticeable.

I’m noticing that allowing is different from my usual response to things.

I’m noticing that allowing means trusting that things will be okay.

And I’m noticing immediate changes in my daily experience as a result of my allowing attitude.

What is allowing?

In the A-H teachings, allowing means taking a receptive attitude to life, on the understanding that everything in life is coming to us in response to our vibration.

Resistance and control and effort and struggle only bring us more of those states. By allowing instead we deactivate that resistance.

The quickest way to change our experience for the better is paradoxically to stop trying to change it. Allowing is a great way to do that, to get into the receptive mode and enjoy a life that we create rather than control.

Practicing happiness 08

Here’s a neat trick: if you pick a subject you don’t really care about and focus on it, you can quickly and easily find your alignment with Source and soon feel really really good.

If you’re like me your response might be “that’s great, but why would I spend time thinking about something that doesn’t matter to me?”

And therein is precisely why we get stuck feeling bad! We diligently focus only on difficult, challenging, important things. We can’t for the life of us daydream about positive things that don’t directly relate to us.

So why do it? Not for the subject, obviously, but for the feeling! Because when you feel good on one subject, it overflows into other ones including the ones you’re so hung up about.

It’s counterintuitive, but if you daydream about something that you don’t really have a vested interest in, you release all kinds of resistance and “realism” and in that moment you allow yourself to feel good.

When you feel good about anything it helps you feel good about everything. Give it a try. Imagine something you don’t strongly care about, like being really good in a discipline you don’t practice – music, art, architecture, cuisine, fashion. Imagine success and satisfaction and pride in that field and see how it feels unopposed by practiced resistance!

Meta-beliefs: is the game of life worth playing?

I’ve spent a lot of time using the Abraham-Hicks teachings to feel better, largely by changing my thoughts.

But much of this work has taken place in the domain of everyday living, or on subjects like money, relationships, health and so on.

If life were a game, these thoughts and subjects would be the contents of the game – all the stuff the players play with.

Yet despite my progress in feeling better about the contents of the game, it turns out I have some strong thoughts or beliefs about the game itself.

At a relatively early age I doubted that the game was worth playing at all. I started to think it was a pointless, meaningless game, where none of the rewards were worth the effort required to attain them.

Nonetheless I felt I had no real choice but to play. Sometimes I was coerced or conscripted into playing, sometimes the pressures of the game forced my hand.

Once you start playing a game, you can’t help but feel invested to some degree, even if your overall attitude to the game is negative.

But it’s impossible to love playing the game while hating the game. It’s impossible to feel truly excited about winning while also thinking that winning is pointless and not worth the effort.

In Abraham-Hicks terms, this is some major vibrational discord.

Changing your meta-beliefs

A lot of the Abraham-Hicks methods are for people who struggle with a subject like money, and it helps them to recognise their conflicting thoughts: I’d love more money vs money doesn’t grow on trees, for example.

If you only have good-feeling thoughts about money you won’t resist or sabotage opportunities. Money will become an easy subject for you.

I haven’t found as much teaching on the meta-subject of life itself or existence itself. I think I’m slightly unusual in having embraced existential pessimism early in life, and ended up living in the shadow of those negative thoughts.

But all the same principles apply! Thinking that life is meaningless, pointless, and not worth the effort, is just another set of thoughts on a subject that can be soothed, softened and shifted gradually.

Life could be worse. This is not the most absurd and painful of all possible worlds. Parts of it are not as bad, some parts are better than others.

And what if “meaning” is not the only thing that gives life value and makes it enjoyable? What if there is more to life than meaning and purpose? What if enjoyment were the point of life?

If my thoughts create my reality, then haven’t I very likely experienced a whole lot of confirmation bias that life is not worth the struggle? Would I like to revisit this old belief just in case my youthful assessment was not as accurate as I thought at the time?

Reconsidering the game

Whether this game of life seems worth playing or not depends on what I think about it. How I feel about life is, in A-H terms, guidance as to the alignment or misalignment of my thoughts about life. Thinking the game is not worth playing feels bad because my inner being does not share that view.

When I know what I don’t want, I implicitly know what I do want. What I don’t want is for life to be a meaningless, pointless game where the rewards aren’t worth the struggle. Therefore what I do want is the opposite of that: I want life to be a meaningful and pointed game where the rewards are more than worth the struggle.

I asked for this many times over, yet instead of staying tuned into that desire I kept turning my attention back to the bleak unwanted perspective that inspired it.

I can change my reality if I change my thoughts, and focus now on what I have desired. I want this game of life to be fun, meaningful, pointed, rewarding, easy and enjoyable.

Pushing against boredom

Our old habit is to push against things we don’t like. But pushing against something just increases our resistance, and since we are already creating our reality, increased resistance means more of what we don’t like.

Last night I went to bed feeling irritable, angry and in physical pain, struggling to work out why and find relief.

It wasn’t until this morning that I felt good enough to see the bigger picture.

After dinner I’d been feeling bored, and my wife wanted to use my computer to watch a movie.

I was already feeling bored, and in addition I felt like I wasn’t free to use the computer myself. So now I felt bored and powerless.

I looked for something else to do, but couldn’t find anything. I started to feel annoyed at myself for not having more interesting options.

An old physical pain started to return, and I decided to go for a run. But between the pain and the cold outside I felt too dismal to continue.

Coming back home I was angry and frustrated, irritated and powerless. To make matters worse, I believed I shouldn’t feel this way, and it was up to me to overcome or solve these bad feelings.

But by now I was pushing so hard against all these unwanted things, and these old patterns of thought had a lot of momentum. Boredom, frustration, powerlessness and anger, going right back to childhood.

Go to sleep

Sleep was the best way to get some relief. But this unwanted experience was also valuable contrast. It showed me very clearly a residual pocket of resistance, and in the light of day I can see how it started and how it got worse and worse by pushing against the unwanted.

Pushing against things doesn’t work. I tried to push against boredom, focusing on how unwanted it felt, and soon every aspect of my experience felt unwanted and infuriating.

Boredom is very close to contentment. If I could relax and look for things to feel good about, the boredom would dissipate in my ease and relief.

That’s how we create our reality after all. I thought I was bored because there was nothing to do, but it’s the other way around: I couldn’t find anything to do because I was already feeling bored. And I was already feeling bored because I’d looked to my circumstances to entertain me and make me feel good.

The lesson is clear: if I feel bored I find everything boring. If I feel satisfied I discover satisfying things. If I feel excited I will find exciting things. And if I feel inspired I will draw inspiration into my experience.

The only variable is momentum – if I’ve spent a lot of time in negative emotions then it will take longer for positive ones to bear fruit. If you’re really good at feeling bored, inspiration will take a bit longer to learn.

Letting go 05: What is reality, really?

We think we inhabit a physical world with fixed rules based on observable forces and objects. But when we dig into this solid, enduring reality we find that there is nothing substantial at its core.

Molecules reduce to atoms, atoms reduce to subatomic particles, subatomic particles reduce to…what exactly? Measurable quantities of energy, properties of mass and charge, probability functions?

And if we go in the other direction, turning our attention back onto the observer, what do we find there?

No one has come close to reducing consciousness to something more tangible or physically explicable. The experiential core of your individual reality defies a material explanation.

Many people have encountered and contemplated this intangible reality of ours and there’s a consensus of sorts that however we explain both the subject consciousness and the objects or phenomena known by consciousness, the two cannot be truly separate and distinct in nature.

Non-dualism rules

This used to be my thing, but I got a bit cynical when this “enlightened” perspective didn’t yield any apparent benefits to me.

Back then I didn’t understand that I could feel better just by making how I feel my top priority. I didn’t yet believe that nothing is more important than feeling good. I didn’t know that feeling good is good.

I know so much more now, and it’s funny and satisfying to see old knowledge I’d let gather dust suddenly fall into place as a component of my happier and more aligned perspective.

So what do I have to gain from my unusual perspective of reality? What does it benefit me to see beyond appearances? What can I do better or differently now that I know how things work?

Vibrational reality

The upshot of all this is a different causality. A different kind of cause-and-effect at work in reality.

When we wish things were different, we tend to look at our circumstances and ask “but how can all this simply change?” We imagine physical laws and physical reality governing all things. We regard manifestations as dominant.

But this leaves no place for the miraculous. It leaves no place for revelation. It leaves no place for providence.

In the Abraham-Hicks teachings we are told that there is a vibrational reality waiting for us that is a perfect match to everything we desire – with the caveat that our desires will never stop expanding and evolving.

The only thing missing from that vibrational reality is…us. We are the only component that freely chooses whether or not to allow vibrational change within us. We are the only part of our reality that can resist the pull of our desires and the outpouring of love and blessings that is God’s response.

We resist this pull by focusing on the unwanted and misaligned aspects of everything. This habit of thought keeps us feeling disjointed and out of harmony with what we desire. It turns an effortless journey into an unpleasant struggle.

But the solution is easy. We just have to learn to let go and allow ourselves to be drawn into the new reality that awaits. We just have to let ourselves be part of the tapestry God is weaving on our behalf. We just have to let ourselves be taken care of, and enjoy being passengers on the way.

What could be more valuable than a deep and moving feeling of appreciation and love in your heart? Well maybe you’d like to be rich too. But only because you associate being rich with having feelings of freedom, joy, trust, confidence, appreciation and joy.

The audacious claim in the A-H teachings is that by finding those feelings you will allow that wealth to come to you. It’s not just that: whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be added unto you.

That will require letting go of resistance, including perhaps the resistance in your old view of “how the world works”.

Letting go of ‘impossible’

Some situations in life seem beyond our ability to fix or repair or bring to fruition.

They feel impossible because they are impossible, at least for us.

That’s why letting go is so important. Even the effort to find an answer is a form of resistance. Wanting to know how it can possibly work out is reiterating how impossible it seems again and again.

Might as well say “I don’t believe”.

But we don’t need to understand how manifestations come about. And if we are troubled by this lack of understanding, then we are resisting the flow of ease, joy, and freedom within us.

The antidote to an “impossible” situation may be trust and faith, or it may be clarity in the form of realising that we don’t need answers, we just need to allow.

These situations are just manifestations. And manifestations are just the product of our thoughts, filtering the grace and blessings God pours out to us constantly and without end.

And in between thoughts and manifestations, our feelings tell us immediately how much we are allowing or resisting God’s blessings.

So being troubled about a subject and struggling to find answers is a sign of resistance, and that resistance is reflected in the manifestations that follow!

Let go. Let go of the oars. No amount of effort will make the things you desire come quicker or be more likely. Because it’s not a matter of speed or proximity or probability. Those desires are already granted in an unending stream; it’s just our resistance that keeps the manifestation at bay.

Remember to let go

It’s funny how, when life is going well because we’ve let go, it can be suddenly enticing to pick up the oars and hurry things along.

Letting go points us in the right direction, but that doesn’t mean we can rush off in that direction and get there sooner.

Impatience, the desire to be in control, these impulses suggest some resistance to the journey, a refusal to find satisfaction in the moment.

Letting go, allowing, can’t be rushed because it’s all about learning to rely on a greater power than ourselves. What we need is practice: steady, consistent practice that will one day become permanent.

What if home were magic?

Circumstances don’t create our reality; it’s our own thoughts and focus that creates our reality.

Where the heart is

Home has been a touchy subject for me. We’re a family of four living in a small unit. We would love more space. We would love a beautiful, wonderful, magical home.

But to say that housing and land are too expensive is beside the point. We create our reality through our thoughts and focus. If I feel bad about the subject of home that’s not a market issue, it’s a focus issue.

The cost of housing represents something to me: the feeling of distance from my ideal, the sense that a beautiful home is unattainable. Money signifies the gap between where I am and where I want to be.

Old thoughts

The truth is that home hadn’t felt magical, beautiful, wonderful or magnificent for many years. Not since we left our old home to come to this city when I was five.

Home lacked those qualities. No, I lacked those feelings about home. Seventeen years I practiced noticing the absence of magic, excitement and adventure in that house.

That’s why my ideal home has felt distant. Not because of money but because of the practiced thought that home is bland and utilitarian, oppressive, boring and ugly.

These thoughts have gotten in the way of my desire for a beautiful, magical, wonderful, magnificent home. I’ve had this desire for a long, long time, but I shot it down over and over with thoughts of insufficiency and lack.

My practiced negative thoughts stopped me from even feeling good about home. But now my positive thoughts have enough momentum that I can change how I think and feel on subjects like this.

Changing direction

I can enjoy finding good-feeling thoughts about home purely for the sake of feeling good. Home can feel like magic right now if I stop resisting it.

There are so many positive aspects to where we live now, enough to keep me flooded with appreciation and joy all the time.

Our home is already beautiful, magical, and wonderful. It already has so much space. We’ve already made a delightful home out of this unit, and it is entirely up to us to appreciate it right now.

Receiving blessings

In the Abraham-Hicks teachings it is often said that the only reason we want anything in life is because we think we will feel better in the having of it.

The two components of the teaching are first that we can feel good right now just by focusing on those things we want, and second that by feeling good we open ourselves to receive from God the things we have already asked for.

But the whole point is to feel good regardless, and by appreciating what we already have, we can arrive at such a state of alignment that we no longer feel any lack or insufficiency.

By focusing on my desires for a wondrous home and letting go of my resistance, I am already there. I feel in my heart the beauty and abundance I’ve longed for, and where I sit right now is perfection.

Believe without seeing

I wish I could say I learned to trust and never once faltered thereafter.

But sometimes we expand and improve and gain new clarity, only to quickly feel overwhelmed by unwanted conditions.

The path back to trust, surrender, and ease from the midst of dissatisfaction seems elusive, yet we will feel better eventually.

Abraham-Hicks teaches that as we feel better it’s like a stream flowing much faster, and in that fast-flowing stream our resistance seems amplified.

The amplification of resistance serves us because we can better release it when it comes to our attention.

We are learning to feel good unconditionally, and sometimes that means making peace with the absence of our desired conditions.

I am learning to trust, and sometimes that means experiencing the momentum of my old, distrustful thoughts.

Making peace

It’s one thing to believe that things are still working out for you in health, finances, or relationships.

It’s another thing to trust, irrespective of how things appear to be working or not working.

Do you feel good because of conditions, or do you feel good because of trust?

I think the latter is more powerful, and that’s why we want to make peace with where we are.

Last resistance

Maybe it’s just me, but if I’m in pain I might feel better about it because I’m noticing improvement.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

But what if I could feel good because I know that God has already healed me, and it feels good to trust in Him?

What if I feel good because I know that trusting God is how I allow myself to receive the healing He offers?

Isn’t it good to believe without seeing?

And in that case, the unwanted conditions represent my last resistance, my resistance to trust and therefore my resistance to happiness.

Pain and other unwanted conditions capture my attention because part of me still thinks my happiness depends on circumstances.

Part of me still thinks that trust must be backed up by evidence. Part of me is willing to believe without seeing, so long as the “seeing” part comes along quick enough.

This part of me – the momentum of old thoughts – is actively scanning my world and searching for reasons to feel better or feel worse, actively keeping score, actively objecting to unwanted circumstances, actively distrustful of life.

And that’s what creates unwanted circumstances.

Believe without seeing

Why are we blessed if we believe without seeing?

Because if we believe, we feel good, and feeling good is our real receipt of the joy and happiness promised us.

If you don’t believe, you can’t receive anything.

This doesn’t mean struggling to feel good despite all the evidence and circumstances weighed against you. When you actually believe, you feel an inner knowing and appreciation that no longer activates those contentious circumstances.

It’s only our resistance that keeps us focused on the unwanted, the absent, the painful or the broken. Those conditions alert us to our resistance and help us to let it go, choosing instead the power of believing without seeing.

Right now I feel good, and it’s as if I’ve entered a different reality from when I started this post. The conditions that bothered me before are no longer active in my mind. What is active instead is my freedom and satisfaction at having let go of this resistance.

Those thoughts still have momentum, but I’m draining it fast, and adding momentum instead to the joyful thoughts of appreciation and trust.

Happiness Day 24

How much do you invest in your problems?

When your body doesn’t feel good, what do you pay more attention to: the 1% that hurts or the 99% that feels fine?

I used to let a mouth ulcer rule my world.

A sore throat was the end of life as we knew it.

Its actually funny right now how many physical symptoms are cycling around my body.

My throat started to hurt but I basically ignored it (I’ve come so far!) and resisted the urge to keep triggering the soreness.

It went away! But other symptoms have arisen. I won’t give a litany, but let’s just say pain has moved from my abdomen to my mouth to my eye to my knee to my back, sometimes a few of them at once.

I’m not worried. While it does show I have some resistance, the answer to resistance is never to fight it.

The Yi Jing has a beautiful passage on this:

“If evil is branded, it thinks of weapons, and if we do it the favor of fighting against it blow for blow, we lose in the end because thus we ourselves get entangled in hatred and passion.

Therefore it is important to begin at home, to be on guard in our own persons against the faults we have branded. In this way, finding no opponent, the sharp edges of the weapons of evil becomes dulled.

For the same reasons we should not combat our own faults directly. As long as we wrestle with them, they continue victorious. Finally, the best way to fight evil is to make energetic progress in the good.”

So by taking these pains lightly I’m already soothing the resistance that causes them. In fact I think I’m learning from the pain in a way, because it gives me a direct feedback on how relaxed and soothed I’m feeling in the moment.

This is a big step forward from my previous efforts to overcome my autoimmune pain, which were, in hindsight, as intense and focused as the pain itself.

It turns out I can soothe the pain just by relaxing and feeling good. I don’t have to dig to the bottom of it (there isn’t one) and I don’t have to track down the specific resistance and neutralise it.

Besides, according to Abraham-Hicks it takes far less resistance to keep symptoms going once they have started. Because once they start they tend to grab our attention and become self-perpetuating.

As for me, I remain amused by these sneaky pains moving around my body and trying to be taken seriously. Meanwhile, I can more easily set them aside while I ask “what is the good in which I would make progress?”