I saw some kid sitting against a fence by the bus stop waiting for his bus.
Seeing him there alone and waiting, somewhere to go but no hurry to be there, reminded me of a feeling I used to have.
The feeling of freedom. The freedom of no cares and no worries, walking out into the world and feeling existence surround me.
Feeling my own solitude against the world. The isolation and potential of nothing I need to be doing.
Having kids, a home, a wife; people and things to come back to. Yes, they tether me. But they don’t have to.
Freedom is a mental condition. Driving a car can feel like freedom, or it can be a tense, white-knuckle experience.
You can relax behind the wheel and hit some kind of zen-like trance where everything feels connected and flowy.
So why not relax behind life? Loosen your grip on the reins or the wheel, take your foot off the brake. Trust your instincts, trust the journey, trust the flow.
The world is still completely free. It never changed from when I was young and solitary.
I’m still alone, but I also have people I care about, and do you think that’s not part of the flow too?
It’s not my efforts or worry that keep the world going. My heart won’t stop beating if I let go nor will I forget to take my next breath.
If I’m tied down, let the ties do their work! Relax and know that nothing I want will drift away or be lost.
I’m just another ingredient in this beautiful medley. Counting heart beats or following my breath, I’m free to be just a piece of this grand composition that is living me.
That’s what freedom means. Life is loving me and not an atom of my whole experience needs my work to hold it in place.
And on the contrary there are many many wonderful things waiting to join in if I just give them the space to enter, and my willingness to appreciate what they bring.