I’ve gone into a lot of depth in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, albeit haphazardly as befits a P-type, right?
But lately I’ve been looking at the simpler measure of the P and the J, and what that means for how we ideally function in the world.
I’m an INFP, who has ended up sharpening his J approach to life in order to “get s*** done!”, because if I stay in P mode I’m afraid life will just blend into some kind of seamless, mysterious whole without my understanding or control.
Actually that sounds kinda nice.
My wife is a genuine J type, yet somehow we’ve ended up inverted. I’m usually in control, deciding what we’ll do and when we’ll do it, while she’s been seemingly content to follow my lead and see what happens.
Which has worked. But it’s been a lot of work, with each of us using our weaker functions to get through life.
Embrace your P-ness
Logically the answer is to revert to our genuine types. That means I should relax, accept that I’m intrinsically disorganized by worldly standards, and let my wife take up some of the slack.
Become the feckless hippie my MBTI results suggest I ought to be, (or more flattering but therefore less therapeutic, the Wanderer above the Sea of Fog…thanks INTJ!)
But it’s really hard to go against years of training and conditioning.
It’s really hard to stop J-ing, to just let go and not even write blog posts summing up the awesome insights that come to me.
And perhaps that’s because the simple P-J message is a little too simple after all.
It’s meant to tell us which of our functions is extroverted – the perceiving one, or the judging one.
But if you’re an introvert, your extroverted function will be auxiliary, subordinate to and weaker than your dominant.
So I may be a P-type, but since my dominant function is a judging function, I’m not the most P that a P could be.
Likewise, my wife is a J-type, but her dominant is a perceiving function, so she’s not the most J kind of J either.
As one site puts it:
IP types have a dominant introverted judging function, which will make them seem more like judgers (J types) than other P types.
And for IJ types vice-versa.
Typical of an INFP (apparently), these kinds of renovations of my theoretical model come easily and frequently, but they don’t change the underlying “feel” I have for what is important.
When I act or think like a J-type, I might be relying too much on my inferior Te (extroverted Thinking) function, as I previously thought, but another way of looking at the whole situation is that I have unhealthy Fi (introverted Feeling) pushing me to accomplish things.
When too many possibilities proliferate, I get tired and want to put away my MBTI toys because I sense that achieving perfect understanding will not yield proportional benefits to me.
Yet this in turn reflects an aspect of my inferior Te – taking single variables and enlarging them until they seem to account for everything. Yes! That’s the one-single mistake I make! (ironic laughter).
The good news is that for an introverted Feeler the actual thoughts don’t need to be nailed down. Despite my past attempts to find all the answers to everything and be right all the time, I don’t really need to know anything, so long as I know how I feel.