What are desires?

Bonus post!

In the Abraham-Hicks teachings preferences and desires are central.

The basic framework is “ask and it is given”:

1. Experience of contrast causes us to launch “rockets” of desire, consciously or not.

2. Source/inner being immediately expands to become a vibrational match to our desires.

3. We allow ourselves to keep up with the expansion of our inner being, and thereby become a match to our desires too.

Step 1 and 2 happen automatically and immediately. We can’t help but launch these rockets of desire and preference all the time, and our inner being becomes a match in that same moment.

From a vibrational standpoint our desire is already granted. But step 3 depends on us, our free will and control of our attention and focus.

If we focus in alignment with our inner being then we are a vibrational match and our physical reality will change to reflect our vibrational reality.

But if we focus out of alignment, this misalignment is reflected in our physical reality instead.

What A-H calls “the art of allowing” is learning to focus on things that feel good, stay in alignment, and therefore easily go with the expansion of our inner being.

What is desire?

Not that we need to know this, but it’s so cool I wanted to share it.

Recently I heard A-H describe in passing how brief most of our moments of alignment are before we throw ourselves into misalignment once more.

So brief in fact that they describe our desires as “rockets”; because desires are in fact moments of pure alignment.

Desire is a brief instance of alignment called forth and allowed by us in response to contrasting experience.

Desire is not yearning or need or hunger – it’s a moment of calling on our inner being with clarity and purpose in response to contrast. It could be so brief we don’t notice it, or it could be big enough that we begin calling on it more and more.

So it makes sense why step 1 and step 2 are so effortless and close together: the moment of asking is the moment of answering.

We wordlessly ask and the asking is itself an invocation of our inner being’s power – grace.

That is why desires feel so good! They are the crack in our resistance through which the light streams in.

But most of us turn away from that light and focus on the darkness. “How is this desire going to be fulfilled? How can I make it happen? It doesn’t seem very realistic! I’ve never heard of this kind of thing happening easily. I really wish it would happen! I need it to happen!”

We end up focused negatively on the subject rather than positively on the desire.

And yet the desire is already its own answer. Vibrationally the desire already feels good if we don’t squelch it wig resistant thoughts.

That is the art of allowing – to not squelch and stifle our good feeling thoughts and desires with bad feeling ones.

Doesn’t matter how “true” or “justified” those bad feeling thoughts feel. If you feel bad you are focused out of alignment and you cannot share in the joy and freedom and expansion of your inner being.

So if you can feel good about your desires, then do that. If you can’t, then find anything else to feel good about, or better, or less bad, or just relief.

You don’t ever need to focus on your desires because your inner being has already become them. You just need to find your way into alignment, and that’s the path of caring a out how you feel and finding a way to feel better.

It’s a game…09!

I love knowing that happiness is a vibrational game. I love knowing that finding relief always works and is always the way forward no matter what.

I love the feeling of letting go of problems and resistance. I’m so glad to have learned that it’s okay just to sidestep or bypass difficulties – and that’s what letting go means!

I love finding that my difficult moral/character expectations are irrelevant and unnecessary.

I love the relief of just letting go of cares and worries and trusting in my inner being to take care of everything.

I love knowing that my physical self is the focal point of my inner being, that I am created and manifested by my inner being, who focuses only on the wanted aspects of my reality.

I love knowing that I am perfectly created in the eyes of my inner being, that my inner being is the predominant creative power of my reality, and that I only need to allow and receive its creation.

I love knowing that I am already fulfilling my purpose in life, that I have always been fulfilling my purpose in being a focal point for the launching of preferences and desires for the expansion of my inner being and all that is.

I love knowing that my inner being is a match to all my desires, that it has already expanded to embrace those new vibrations, and that it is drawing those desires into physical manifestation.

I love knowing that I couldn’t stop those manifestations even if I wanted to. I love knowing their inevitability and sureness. I love knowing that as I let go and allow and receive, my resistance ceases and my reality immediately changes course as I align with my inner being.

It’s a game…05!

There are things we want in life that sometimes seem difficult or impossible to have.

Thinking about how to get them usually leads us into a downward spiral. So Abraham-Hicks advises that we instead focus on why we want these things.

The answer is always ultimately because of how we will feel when we have the things we desire.

Having a great relationship or an amazing job would make it easier to feel good – at least at first.

But since happiness is a vibrational game, it’s not the thing that makes us happy, it’s the vibration we are focused on.

The person you want to be with doesn’t make you feel good; it’s your vibration on the subject of that person. When you think about that person/subject you activate a vibration closer to the vibration of your inner being, and so you feel good.

But you can also think about that same person or situation and activate a vibration further away from the vibration of your inner being, and that will feel bad.

And since life is about creating and expanding through our desires these good and bad feeling vibrations correspond to thoughts that allow or resist our desires.

So what to do?

It might sound a bit strange, but since happiness is a vibrational game why not find the really good feeling vibration you associate with having that relationship or getting that job, and just feel the vibration now?

That’s what Abraham-Hicks are teaching. How do you feel when you imagine being with that person? Excitement, adventure, connection, energy. How do you feel when you imagine having that job? Purposeful, creative, proud, accomplished, energised.

When you imagine it to the point of feeling it, you activate the vibration. Just practice that vibration now. It couldn’t be more simple.

It’s not the person or the job or any other condition making you feel so good. It’s the vibration. And you can have the vibration right now and in every moment and eternally.

The question is: do you want to feel that good right now? Don’t feel bad about it, but you’re probably not ready to feel that good. That’s why Abraham-Hicks advises to start with just aiming to feel better.

But when you are ready to find the vibration of the things you desire, then you can enjoy the essence of your desire in this very moment.

Hold that thought! A vibrational shift

I wanted to share an example of vibrational shift because it’s good practice for me and might help some readers to see how I do it (but you do what works for you).

I’ve noticed a feeling of struggle, daily grind at home. I feel like there’s nothing really exciting for me or the kids to do, but plenty of unwanted tasks that have to get done.

I’m self-aware enough to know that I’ve had this attitude since I was a kid. It’s a great example of creating my reality consistently despite significant changes in my circumstances.

So instead of trying to change my circumstances, let me change how I feel, by changing my vibration.

I like to do this by finding the best-feeling thoughts available to me, and writing them out while I appreciate the feeling:

I love knowing that this is a vibrational game. I love knowing that my inner being adores where I am right now. I love knowing that all my desires are already fulfilled in vibrational reality. I love knowing that I am coming into alignment with that vibrational reality.

That’s all in A-H terms, but you can do the same in religious terms, or simply in basic emotional terms:

I love the feeling of freedom. I love the feeling of appreciation. I love feeling loved and appreciated. I love feeling ease and flow. I love knowing that everything is taken care of. I love knowing that everything is okay. I love knowing that I’m on the right path.

It’s entirely up to you what words or thoughts or ideas are most efficacious.

If I spend ten minutes focusing on these thoughts as I write them out, I feel different and that means I have successfully changed my vibrational focus.

I feel good and I acknowledge that I’m now broadcasting this much better-feeling vibration.

That’s all it takes. If we do that often enough and try to remain in that good-feeling place consistently, then life will be completely different.

The moment you stop the exercise you may find your old vibration reassert itself as you face “reality” again. But it’s actually you switching back to your old vibration that causes the negative feelings to return.

What does it take to stop the old vibration returning? Practice of the new vibration, awareness of when you’ve gone back to the old vibration, and not beating yourself up when that happens.

Just like learning to ride a bike, falling off is an inevitable part of becoming proficient.

Just like learning to play piano or touch-type – mistakes are just part of tuning yourself in to playing or typing perfectly. If you beat yourself up for every mistake you just slow down the learning process. Recognise the mistake and move in the direction you want to go.

Feel better, and when you feel worse just recognise that you’ve let your vibration slide. Write out your really good feeling thoughts and enjoy the feeling of those higher vibrations, with the intent to go deeper and stay longer each time.

For this subject of daily life feeling like a struggle, that tells me what I don’t want, and I can thereby use my exercise to focus in the direction of what I do want. This is called “pivoting”, as you find the opposite of the bad-feeling vibration.

Life is meant to be easy. Life is meant to be effortless. Everything works out for me. There’s no struggle or effort required. Ideas and inspiration spontaneously occur to me. Things just seem to work out. Things just seem to take care of themselves. There’s nothing that needs my urgent attention. There’s nothing that needs me to push or cajole it.

I create my reality. Everything comes together in response to my vibration. Everything is working out according to universal forces. Everything is a match to my vibration.

Life is easy. Life flows without struggle or effort. Life is a downstream ride. I allow things to take care of themselves. I allow things to work themselves out. I allow ease and joy into my experience. I allow love and happiness into my experience. I allow life to surprise and delight me. I allow life to enchant and satisfy me.

It’s a vibrational game!

Practicing happiness 30

It’s a vibrational game!

What a fitting subject for my 30th post in this series!

I am coming to understand that happiness is a vibrational game. What this means is that the vibration of your thoughts or attention matters. It’s the vibration that really counts – not the words, not the subject, not the meaning, not the context.

I’ve tried to “let go” of resistance by analysing, unpacking, and trying to shift it. But that’s not what letting go looks like.

I thought there had to be some process of unlocking, undoing, reprogramming resistant thoughts; but so long as I’m focused on those resistant thoughts, that’s the vibrational signal I’m broadcasting!

Even though it felt like progress, even though I could recount great narratives of my realisations; I was still broadcasting resistance.

That’s not letting go. Letting go is…bypassing. Letting go is changing the subject. Letting go is focusing somewhere else. Letting go is going around the obstacles in my path rather than trying to remove the obstacles.

That’s why it’s a vibrational game. All that matters is the vibration you are broadcasting and you know it by how it feels.

I love knowing that I create my reality. I love knowing that I attract everything into my experience. I love knowing that my experience and my feelings are a perfect match to what I’ve been broadcasting, and I love knowing that I can change what I broadcast. And I really really really love knowing that it’s easy to change what I’m broadcasting, I just need to focus on anything that feels good.

Like any game it takes practice to get better at it. It took me lots of practice to realise that it was a game! But now I know, and it will keep getting easier and more fun as I continue.

Every time you feel bad, switch to a thought that feels good. Spend time writing out thoughts that do feel good, and more will come. Relish the good feeling these thoughts bring you, and when you notice you’ve stopped feeling good, take the time to get back in that good feeling vibration again, and don’t beat yourself up when you fall out!

Life is meant to be fun

My wife told me last night that winning a Nobel Prize extends your lifespan. Assuming the researchers did their homework, that means fame and adulation for one’s life’s work actually helps you live longer.

Good feelings are good. Life is not meant to be grim and miserable, it is meant to be fun and enjoyable. All it takes to let it be fun and enjoyable is to stop focusing on thoughts that feel bad and start focusing on thoughts that feel good.

Gradual improvements

If you persist with this practice, your feelings will gradually change and so will your circumstances. When we focus on thoughts that feel bad, we are drawn to more thoughts and circumstances that match. We unwittingly refuse, resist, and sabotage the good things in life because we’re not willing or practiced at going along with them.

When you focus on thoughts that feel good, thoughts of fun and enjoyment and appreciation, you allow those feelings to gain momentum in your life and open yourself to receive circumstances and conditions that match these good feelings.

Making fun of life

If you can find a feeling of fun in yourself, then you can expect fun to fill your life as well. It just depends on how consistently you can enjoy a feeling of fun without getting thrown off by negative thoughts.

The more frequently you enjoy good feelings, the better your life will feel. You’ll start to see that people who once looked like “victims” of their reality are steadfastly focused on bad-feeling thoughts and circumstances; and the baddest-feeling thought of all is that “I have no control over my circumstances”.

Focusing on fun feelings today is helping me appreciate that I have great potential in this. There’s a lot of fun available to me, and I’m inspired to see how this fun feeling will unfold in my experience, what signs and manifestations will turn up in response to my new point of focus.

Seeking solace and fulfilment

When I used to practice detachment I would run into a problem of feeling bored and yearning for something more, yet I couldn’t think of anything in the world to satisfy that desire.

This is perhaps where my melancholic temperament shapes my experience, because melancholics are excited by ideals and ideals are hard to locate in physical reality.

…aren’t they?

Rethinking idealism

There’s no question that I am more excited by things like spiritual teachings and principles than material possessions and experiences.

Yet this dichotomy is informed by my own past belief that reality was dull and miserable. If what I’m longing for is the fulfilment of my exciting ideals, then naturally it’s frustrating and disappointing to believe reality can never rise to meet those ideals.

But the whole point is that manifestations are only a reflection of thought, and feeling guides us as to the alignment of our thoughts with God/inner being.

Hence quashing my ideals because I couldn’t see or even imagine them manifesting in my reality is, in A-H terms, like digging up the seedlings you just planted because they haven’t borne fruit yet.

Don’t go looking outside

My old frustration was guidance telling me my thoughts were off. And boy were they off! I was using my reality as the measure of my ideals, my excitement, my good feelings. I was shutting down my own enthusiasm because I didn’t know what to do with it!

What I can do instead is accept that my manifestation is a reflection of my alignment, and the profoundly good feelings I have right now are telling me I am aligned with God/inner being.

It feels good to know this now. It feels good to know and to see that manifested reality is a perfect match to what I’m feeling right now. It is wonderful to know at last that I don’t have to go searching for something to justify, anchor, or explain this inner peace and satisfaction and ease.

Temperament Project 01: Getting Started

Blogging has helped me stay focused on some subjects, so why not use it to focus on writing my book about temperament? My aim is to write regular blog posts that will help shape and inspire an eventual book. Hope you like it!

What is temperament, and why should I care?

Temperament is the foundation of your personality. It’s the part of your personality hard-wired from birth, biologically based, that determines how you respond to the world.

It’s significant in the same way that physical attributes like height are significant. Some people are taller and some are shorter; and while your height doesn’t dictate anything about you, it does shape your experience and make certain outcomes more, or less, likely.

Being tall will give you an advantage in basketball, netball, swimming and some other sports, but it might be a disadvantage in weight-lifting, ballet, gymnastics or horse-racing.

Temperament is more complicated than height, but it has an analogous impact on your choices in life and the shaping of your personality.

Life-long traits

Contemporary psychology has studied aspects of temperament and found that traits identified in infancy will persist throughout life.

The ancient Greeks observed this too, and in their own proto-scientific context they came up with theories to explain these fundamental differences in temperament.

If the world was made up of four basic elements: earth, air, fire, and water, then obviously the human body must be governed by four basic substances too.

Blood, phlegm, yellow bile and black bile were the four fluids or humours that determined health or illness, as well as the foundation of the personality: the temperament.

The word temperament itself means blend or mix and refers to the blend of humours within the individual.

We each have all four humours within us, but one or two tend to dominate. Depending on the blend, individuals are categorised as sanguine (blood), phlegmatic (phlegm), choleric (yellow bile), or melancholic (black bile).

A perfectly balanced person would have all four in proportion. But most of us can be described by a primary-secondary blend. Thus a person with primary choleric and secondary phlegmatic is a choleric-phlegmatic.

But Greek medicine was wrong…wasn’t it?

Absolutely!

There’s no such thing as black bile, and there’s no indication that the other bodily fluids mentioned have any impact on personality or behaviour in the way the Greeks envisaged.

But observations are still valid data, even if the theory that attempted to explain those observations has been discarded.

In the case of temperament what we have inherited from the Greeks and the civilisations that adopted Greek medicine is a robust yet pragmatic set of observations spanning millennia.

We may not know yet what causes differences in temperament, but we do know that such differences exist, and the four temperament model remains a valuable framework for understanding, interpreting, and responding to those differences in ourselves and others.

What if home were magic?

Circumstances don’t create our reality; it’s our own thoughts and focus that creates our reality.

Where the heart is

Home has been a touchy subject for me. We’re a family of four living in a small unit. We would love more space. We would love a beautiful, wonderful, magical home.

But to say that housing and land are too expensive is beside the point. We create our reality through our thoughts and focus. If I feel bad about the subject of home that’s not a market issue, it’s a focus issue.

The cost of housing represents something to me: the feeling of distance from my ideal, the sense that a beautiful home is unattainable. Money signifies the gap between where I am and where I want to be.

Old thoughts

The truth is that home hadn’t felt magical, beautiful, wonderful or magnificent for many years. Not since we left our old home to come to this city when I was five.

Home lacked those qualities. No, I lacked those feelings about home. Seventeen years I practiced noticing the absence of magic, excitement and adventure in that house.

That’s why my ideal home has felt distant. Not because of money but because of the practiced thought that home is bland and utilitarian, oppressive, boring and ugly.

These thoughts have gotten in the way of my desire for a beautiful, magical, wonderful, magnificent home. I’ve had this desire for a long, long time, but I shot it down over and over with thoughts of insufficiency and lack.

My practiced negative thoughts stopped me from even feeling good about home. But now my positive thoughts have enough momentum that I can change how I think and feel on subjects like this.

Changing direction

I can enjoy finding good-feeling thoughts about home purely for the sake of feeling good. Home can feel like magic right now if I stop resisting it.

There are so many positive aspects to where we live now, enough to keep me flooded with appreciation and joy all the time.

Our home is already beautiful, magical, and wonderful. It already has so much space. We’ve already made a delightful home out of this unit, and it is entirely up to us to appreciate it right now.

Receiving blessings

In the Abraham-Hicks teachings it is often said that the only reason we want anything in life is because we think we will feel better in the having of it.

The two components of the teaching are first that we can feel good right now just by focusing on those things we want, and second that by feeling good we open ourselves to receive from God the things we have already asked for.

But the whole point is to feel good regardless, and by appreciating what we already have, we can arrive at such a state of alignment that we no longer feel any lack or insufficiency.

By focusing on my desires for a wondrous home and letting go of my resistance, I am already there. I feel in my heart the beauty and abundance I’ve longed for, and where I sit right now is perfection.

Awakening to your higher self

There’s always been this dichotomy of two selves.

The self you are most aware of is more like a focal point than a separate entity. It’s how you participate in the physical world, but it’s not the fullest extent of your being.

When we worry, fear, struggle and fight, it’s as if we are focused on this self to the exclusion or ignoring of its true nature, and ours.

What people call the higher self, Buddha-nature, Christ dwelling within us, is an awakening to this greater being of which we are a part.

If we say the physical self is a focal point, then it is this greater, spiritual self that is focusing here.

We could live most of our lives focused only on the physical self, with only fleeting awareness of the bigger picture.

But the real joy and ease and happiness comes as we come into alignment with this higher, spiritual self that is an extension of God, and begin to merge those two perspectives.

Our higher self is always united with God. It knows only endless streams of love and appreciation and joy.

Our physical self can, as a focal point, be in harmony with our higher self and enjoy the resonance and beauty of that most satisfying relationship.

That is why ease and relief are important, because from God’s perspective there can be no reason, no obstacle, no thing to stand in opposition or resistance to the love and the light that is His very being.

This higher self, this relationship with God is always within us. It just takes practice of relief, practice letting go of the oars and turning downstream, practice of trust to the point where we can feel its presence as naturally as we feel a cool breeze on our skin or the rhythm of our own breath.

It’s only taken me two years of exploration and practice to cease feeling chronically depressed and find relief and trust available to me at all times.

And in that two years it only took about two months of daily focus to really hear the answers i was seeking: let go of the oars, again and again let them go. Let the current turn you downstream. Stop trying, stop efforting, let go into trust that the universe is good, that God desires your happiness, and rest in the utter totality of trusting the creator of the universe to carry you gently, easily into the love you always desired.

This trust is the spring of life-giving water. It is the abundance of joy promised us. It is everything we desire, and it is available to us always.