Feel good all day 11

Up til now I’ve practiced feeling good about things in my life and it’s improved my baseline mood to the point where I can feel good all day.

Reaching a new stage like “feeling good all day” naturally raises my expectations and desire for more. Contrast helps me focus on what I want, higher levels of feeling good.

Without planning or trying I’ve started to address thoughts and feelings closer to home and my own self and identity.

These are thoughts about my self-worth and how I carry myself in the world; and it’s exciting and gratifying to feel that all my focus on feeling better is now transforming the bedrock of my daily life.

It feels good to feel good. This tautology applies as much to my thoughts about myself as to thoughts about the world.

I don’t worry about world events anymore because it feels good to trust that everything is unfolding according to a higher plan.

And in the same way I can feel proud of myself for all I have accomplished. The feeling of pride and appreciation is accessible right now, and no action is required (or able) to justify or earn it.

The old patterns of thought I created were to protect me from painful emotions. I don’t need them anymore because the answer to painful emotions is not defensiveness or protection but a deliberate practice of finding better-feeling thoughts instead.

Feel good all day 3

This old kookaburra was sitting in the tree above me while I wrote yesterday.

Today is my ninth wedding anniversary (and my wife’s too 😜). Nine years feels pretty substantial. We must be doing something right, and as my focus on feeling better takes hold it begins to feel like we’re doing everything right.

Yesterday was amazing. The only low point only served to help clarify what I want, how good I’d like to feel, and put into perspective some small pockets of resistance still active in my mind.

I’m at that wonderful place of being able to sit and feel appreciation for my life right now, and the journey I am on.

I’m taking away momentum from old patterns of thought, and freeing up energy to focus on new thoughts of how good life can be, how satisfied I can feel.

Yesterday was beautiful and sunny. Today is pouring with rain, and I feel just as happy. Whether it’s raining or shining I have in myself the power to choose my point of focus, and decide to focus on what feels good all day, every day of my life.

Does your happiness seem far away?

Your reality is a reflection of what’s going on inside you – the average of all your thoughts and attitudes.

So if it seems like your happiness is far away: be it relationships, wealth, career or anything; or if it feels like there are weighty obstacles to your desires, these obstacles and this distance are a perfect reflection of the resistance within you.

If you have doubts about a major purchase you might be tempted to make the purchase anyway. But the doubts won’t be resolved by action alone. Instead you’ll find new reflections of doubt in your fresh circumstances.

If you think you can make a relationship happen through effort despite obstacles, know that the obstacles are reflecting resistance already in you. Trying to change the circumstances will just bring the resistance out by another path.

If wealth seems always out of reach it’s not the external distance that’s the problem but the internal resistance in the form of thoughts about wealth, value, economics and so on.

Use the reflection

The good news is that we can use the reflection or manifestation to understand and ease our resistance.

If it seems like there are no jobs for people like me, or if the only jobs for which I am qualified appear soul-destroying in their awfulness, that’s just a reflection of my thoughts about money.

Someone like me doesn’t deserve easy money.

The cost of obtaining money is just too high.

Money requires sacrifice.

Yet I’ve had jobs that were objectively easy, and did I enjoy them? No. I created and focused on aspects of the jobs that kept alive the feeling of sacrifice or struggle.

If the job was easy, I spent every day fearing that I’d be called to account for not accomplishing enough.

I balanced out the easy money by feeling untenable guilt and unworthiness.

Close the gap in yourself

Instead of struggling to change the reflection or manifestation, work on resolving, soothing, or otherwise improving the thoughts you focus on.

Struggle and action will only move things around, they won’t change the underlying cause.

Whatever distance or obstacles appear in your reality, the real gap is not between your present circumstances and your desired outcome; the real gap is between your thoughts and your desires.

Work on closing that gap, simply by finding thoughts that feel better.

And when your thoughts actually change, then you’ll see that the distance doesn’t matter, obstacles don’t mean anything, and new possibilities arise without any effort on your part.

Feel good all day 1

Aaaaand I’m back!

Phew! It’s a relief to have a focal point once more, a coherent goal to guide my thoughts and feelings, an aspiration, and an inspiring ideal!

I can feel good all day. If I don’t, I can feel okay about it. Every time I feel less than good, it will help me focus and improve. Because that’s how we learn!

Plan of attack

First, focus on subjects that feel good and ignore subjects that don’t feel good.

If you can’t ignore a subject, start softening it so it doesn’t feel as bad, and then ignore it.

Appreciate: Weather, possessions, activities, interactions, ideas. Everything has an appreciable aspect to it, and if it doesn’t then soften and soothe your thoughts and then ignore it.

And above all keep reminding yourself that you want to feel good all day.

It’s easy. You know how to do it, you want to do it, and now you’re doing it!

Missing my happiness

Okay, I admit I’m feeling less happy now that my Happiness Challenge is over.

Focusing on happiness every day really did make me happier.

It gave me discipline but also momentum and most importantly it kept me oriented to a positive goal.

Each time I wrote something I would feel for whether it was bringing me closer to happiness or not.

Now that it’s over I feel less sure of what to write, and I’ve found myself mulling over ideas that don’t feel good.

At the same time don’t want to just pick up where I left off. I want more than before!

So I’m going to pick a new, more specific, goal and focus on that for thirty days or so.

It could be something like “enjoy every moment” or “appreciate each moment”. I like goals that are extreme and totally encompassing, because they help keep me honest and motivated.

Or if it’s day by day I could pick “feel good all day”.

Actually I like that one. Let’s give it a try!

Happiness Day 28

Fear of being positive.

Why are we afraid to be positive? It’s because we don’t want to get our hopes up only to be disappointed.

This fear can set in on all kinds of subjects: money, relationships, housing, jobs, etc.

But this is also a sign that we aren’t applying the principles correctly in these instances. Because genuine positivity is not fearful, nor should it feel like some kind of ploy or plot to improve our circumstances.

How it works

If I want more money and I feel bad about not having enough, how should I address this desire, these thoughts, and negative feelings?

Many people approach law of attraction or positive thinking as a way to “get their stuff”. We take at face value that wanting more money and feeling bad is a “problem” that will be solved by getting more money.

But from the Abraham-Hicks perspective the actual problem here is that I am focusing on something unwanted (not enough money).

Paradoxically, the reality of not having enough money is a symptom of focusing on an unwanted reality, not the cause.

Feel better

Many people are too caught up in their own desperation and try to use these principles to change their circumstances, rather than changing their focus.

But if you can’t change your focus your circumstances won’t change either.

The problem is that thoughts like “I don’t have enough money” feel bad. They feel bad because they conflict with the perspective of our own inner being (God) who is always offering us an abundance of love, appreciation, and blessings.

The whole point of what we prosaically call “positive thinking” is to align ourselves with the perspective of God, our inner being, and enjoy the fruit of that alignment.

How do we do it?

On the subject of money we can do this by paying attention to how we feel, and the thoughts, words, and perspectives we are focused upon.

Thoughts like “I don’t have enough money” or “money is so hard to come by” feel bad. So as a first step, try to find thoughts that feel less bad.

In the past I’ve sometimes felt like I don’t have as much money as I want. It’s seemed like money is not as easy to come by as I would like.

Small adjustments to your words have great implications. Absolutes can be made relative so that instead of “not enough” we say “not as much as I would like”. Negatives are made positive, so “hard” becomes “not as easy”. I’ve also added words that make it less definite: “sometimes” instead of an implied “always”; and I’ve made the statements a matter of how I’ve felt, or how things have seemed, rather than unilateral declarations of objective truth.

From there it is easier to feel a little better:

I would like more money. I would like money to come more easily.

This is infinitely softer and better-feeling than my initial bold insistence on how bad things are.

I would love it if money came to me easily. I would love it if money just came into my experience whenever I wanted it.

I would love to spend time working on my projects. I would love to spend time hiring the people I need, buying the materials I want, paying for the work I want done.

I love the idea of having the best people with the right expertise at my disposal, and the highest quality tools and materials available to me.

I’ve gone off on a good-feeling tangent! And the point is that I changed my focus from thoughts about money that felt bad, to thoughts about money that felt less bad, then better, and finally thoughts that feel good.

This is the way to apply positive-thinking principles: not as a vain attempt to change one’s circumstances in order to feel better — yet plagued by the fear that change will not come; but as a direct, reproducible, and immediately successful change in focus towards better-feeling thoughts.

Count Your Blessings Day 9

Welcoming contrast.

Today’s blessing is that I’m finding myself facing contrast, and welcoming it.

Contrast is sort of like unwanted experience.

But at a certain point it’s not right to call it unwanted as though that’s a bad thing. Because contrast helps us to hone and refine and reach for what we do want.

It’s a bit like writing a draft. Is a draft a failure because it’s not as good as the revision? Of course not.

I remember someone saying that a first draft is really your first best try. It’s creating our first best try that gives rise to our desire for something more perfect, more a match for our desire and intention.

So I’m facing some contrast in life around the subject of money, and it’s actually very welcome because without this contrast I don’t think I could yet have focused as clearly as I’d like to on that subject.

Or better yet…

It’s because I’m ready and in a good place to focus on the subject of money that I’m now receiving some contrast to help me refine my desires and shift my thinking about it!

So the contrast itself is truly welcome, while I appreciate all that has transpired to make me better able to handle it.

Happiness Day 23

What will you focus on?

I just watched a woman cross two lanes of busy traffic, holding her hand out to stop or slow the cars as she hurried to catch the bus.

The cars let her through, the bus waited, she caught the bus.

It was pretty audacious, but also admirable.

The person I was with couldn’t see it in that light. He was annoyed at her on behalf of the drivers and insisted she was wrong to do it because it was against the law and dangerous too.

She went too far!

I’m not saying she was right or wrong, that’s not the point. The point is that I’m my reality she would have missed the bus.

I would never have been so audacious as to cross through traffic like she did. But at least I can respect and admire her own focus and determination to catch that bus!

What impressed me further is the difference in our perspectives. The person I was with felt bad watching her because he could only see the unwanted aspects of the situation.

I felt surprise, admiration, and excitement at seeing someone so focused on their goal that they transformed obstacles into stepping-stones.

After all, I’ve seen busses drive off as people hurry to catch them. They won’t necessarily wait.

But watching this woman so audaciously cross the road, I feel the driver must have waited for her out of sheer admiration for her effort!

Physical illness Wellness

These principles apply to everything.

I’ve had an upset stomach these past couple of days, but it wasn’t until this morning as I drove my son to school that I found a better way to focus.

My stomach feels unwell…but my head feels really clear! I can only focus on one part of my body at a time. Which part will o focus on? Clarity or discomfort?

Remember that whatever we focus on will be magnified and strengthened.

Choosing to notice how clear-headed I feel, I appreciate the clarity and feel good about it. My clarity grows and expands. And as I appreciate it, anything contrary to it is just tuned out.

Happiness Challenge Day 11

Your attention is your most valuable resource.

This is Day 11 of a process designed to help me focus on feeling good.

I want to feel good all the time.

But I can’t keep score along the way. And I don’t want to go back and tell the story of where I came from and why I want to feel good.

At some point these justifications and explanations and score-keeping only serve to remind me of the past.

Why remind ourselves of the past? At first it might feel good to say “look how far I’ve come” but even a positive reminder still keeps that reference point alive in our minds.

I’m beginning to realise how valuable my attention is.

We can only focus on one thought at a time. Telling the story of how I used to feel might not be a bad thought, but aren’t there better-feeling thoughts I could be focusing on instead?

I’m getting better at picking thoughts that feel good. I’ve even drafted and redrafted this post because I keep wanting it to feel better and better. I have a tantalising sense that something far far greater is on its way.

So without keeping score, but maybe keeping track: at the end of day eleven I’m feeling very very good.

To feel as good as possible

Focus on the word “contentment” and feel it. It might take a few seconds to really embrace the good feeling of contentment.

If you can feel contentment you can then go to a better feeling:

Appreciation

Love

Freedom

Joy

Contentment is easier and more stable, and good enough if you’re not used to feeling good.

Appreciation is also very good because we have less resistance and fewer preconceptions about it than love, joy, and freedom.

But whatever feels best to you.

Resistance

You might feel some resistance to feeling good. A bit like you’re reluctant to relax or let your guard down.

Keep focusing. The whole point is to feel the relief of letting go and allowing these good feelings.

You might also have resistance in the form of thoughts that dissuade you from the task.

But hopefully the exercise is general enough and simple enough that other thoughts don’t really have a foothold.

If they do, try to soothe the thoughts gently.

Eg. “I suck at this kind of thing” well it’s okay to suck at it. It’s just an experiment, right? I’m giving it a go, and maybe it’ll be interesting. It’d be nice to have this trick up my sleeve to feel content whenever I want to.

“This is pointless” Actually the point is to feel better and I’d like to do that more, and if I can feel better just by focusing on the feeling I want to feel then that would be worth practicing I think.

“This won’t change anything” It will give me the ability to find relief and feel better, and if nothing else were to change wouldn’t it be better to feel good rather than feel bad?

Do it all the time…eventually

My goal is to feel genuine appreciation all the time.

Feeling appreciation makes me a better person – the person I think I’m meant to be. I’m happier, more creative, much nicer to be with! People have commented on how much happier I am.

It makes my life better. I’ve already seen how feeling appreciation can transform my day from a monotony of worries and burdens to a light and easy adventure.

And the only thing I need to do is practice feeling appreciation.

From general to specific

With credit to the Abraham Hicks material, I’ve found that practicing a general feeling of appreciation eventually translates spontaneously into specific appreciation for things in life.

It’s a bit like suddenly coming into a whole heap of money and thinking “wow I’m rich!” And then after a while being inspired to spend your money in specific, good-feeling ways that enhance the feeling of well-being and prosperity.

So the more time I spend feeling appreciation, the more I will continue to notice wonderful things to appreciate in my life.

This is how feeling good really does change your life, because in consistently feeling good you are naturally drawn to entirely different aspects of your present experience and hence to a different future experience altogether.