I am a great person

I haven’t been to many concerts, but Throwcase’s delightful and measured reflection on the complex sub-text of audience distractions rekindled for a moment the suppressed rage of sitting in a cinema surrounded by people who do indeed seem to think that a distraction is only a distraction if someone other than they are causing it:

Schnuppleberry says she has perfected a way to free the cough drop from it’s crinkly plastic wrapping in the slowest way possible. “At first I did it extremely quickly, but then I realised nobody could tell how unobtrusive I was being. Now I take about five minutes to open each one so that if anyone hears me they know I am taking great care not to make any unnecessary noise. I am a great person.”


Still, I have determined that some people are simply more tuned-in to aural distractions than most.  I’ve discovered on numerous occasions that intense irritants such as a buzzing fluorescent light, a distant lawnmower, a ringing phone, or even less obtrusive sounds like a distant train or passing traffic seem to demand an equal share on my attention as the blissfully oblivious individual with whom I might happen to be conversing.  “Sorry, could you repeat that last point: a man in a car on the road outside your house just swore at someone, and they’re having an argument now.”