Practicing happiness 14

Hello readers! I hope you’re all having a beautiful day!

Today I’ve been learning about schema therapy, and how we form patterns of beliefs in childhood that tend to dominate our adult lives.

It’s very similar to the Abraham-Hicks teachings, and another point on the map as I explore feeling better and finding better-feeling thoughts.

Lately my practice of feeling better has blossomed into full-fledged feeling good. I’ve found reliable avenues of practicing good feelings, and with that consistent practice I’m allowing more and more good feeling to flow into the rest of my day.

We make it complicated, but it really is so simple. Just feel better no matter what.

And that’s not a pressure to apply, it’s a skill to practice for your own direct benefit. If anything it’s about relieving the pressure.

We like to think we’d feel good if circumstances were different…but mostly our circumstances are what they are because we don’t know how to feel good.

But once you identify that you can choose thoughts that feel better (or thoughts that feel worse) you then have your hand on the remote. You have the control over how you feel, it just takes practice and consistency to reach a place of generally feeling better.

I can’t speak to your habits of thought, but mine were pretty bad. And I felt pretty bad too. My answer to feeling bad was to throw myself harder into escape attempts. I kept trying to understand the whole dynamic of my inner and outer worlds, convinced that I could then “overcome” suffering and “escape” unwanted experiences.

Feel bad, try harder, fail, feel worse, rinse and repeat.

Yet all it’s taken to feel better is…to feel better. Well actually I started with “feel less bad”. Bit by bit, with modest advances I practiced feeling less bad about things.

Nearly three years on its funny to look back and see the slow stop-and-start progress, punctuated by dramatic efforts that grew less and less frantic, until finally I couldn’t deny that “feel better” was what actually worked.

My aim is no longer to escape or overcome or transform myself…just to feel good. Because feeling good feels really good, and that’s all I really wanted all this time.

Practicing happiness 02

Systematic happiness

We tend to focus on happiness via outcomes and circumstances, getting things the way we want them.

But it’s much better to approach happiness as systematic instead, practicing feeling better consistently and continuously regardless of the circumstances.

Sometimes we even value specific outcomes more than feeling better. In my own search for happiness I’ve found that I tend to put so much value on finding “the answer” that I forget to feel better, and can end up struggling and striving instead.

But ironically when I practice feeling better systematically, answers just come to me anyway without any struggle.

So just practice feeling better and over time you’ll see that nothing else is as effective or consistent in finding happiness.