Are you searching for coherence?

I recently learned about disorganised attachment and immediately wanted to share it with you all.

Attachment theory is all about our childhood need for secure attachment to parents or caregivers. But when those attachment figures are not available or unreliable it shapes our attachment and our subsequent view of life and relationships.

The original theory covered anxious attachment and avoidant attachment and I couldn’t see myself in either of those…or maybe in both? But that didn’t make sense.

Well it turns out there were enough people who didn’t fit either category that they created a new one: disorganised attachment.

Disorganised attachment means you weren’t able to find an attachment style that worked, because the people you turned to for security were themselves threatening and unsafe. As an adult you may struggle to find a stable way of relating to yourself and others.

If you find it hard to know who you are, or to understand others, this may apply to you. Listen to this excellent podcast: