The resistance is in me and you

There’s no resistance in reality, just resistance in me and in you.

Everything in reality is drawn to us by law of attraction.

It couldn’t persist in my reality unless I was attracting it to me.

That goes for everything from physical aches and pains to the tone of relationships, economic conditions, and even the ideas that come to me.

When we blame reality for how we feel we disempower ourselves. Resistance can’t survive in our reality unless it is alive in us.

If we start paying attention to the vibration of everything in our experience, we tune into how the law of attraction is operating.

What are the vibrational frequencies of the objects, people, circumstances and interactions around you? Can you feel them? They are nuanced, multifaceted, and constantly changing; but what you are feeling is a direct indicator of your own vibration.

If you can start tuning into the vibrations of things, asking “what is the vibration of this?” “What vibration am I attracting to me?” then you are no longer activating your own resistance.

Dynamic

As you start feeling the vibration of things in your reality, you are already changing your own vibration, which in turn changes your reality.

Relationships are a great example of this. I might be frustrated by my toddler’s behaviour, and if I try to feel the vibration of her behaviour I see that it matches the frustration and impatience in me.

But the moment I tune into her like that, I’m no longer activating my own vibration of impatience and frustration, and almost immediately I feel a different vibration from her. My openness to vibrational reality and my willingness to take responsibility for what is coming to me releases my resistance and I can suddenly appreciate her in a different light.

What’s actually happened is that my vibration has changed and law of attraction is bringing me an aspect of her that is a match to my new vibration.

Becoming aware of the vibrational feedback law of attraction is bringing to me tunes me into the whole dynamic and simultaneously improves my vibration, thereby allowing me to witness law of attraction in action.

It’s good to understand that we create our reality, but we also need to practice it somehow. Tuning into the vibration of what we are already attracting is a powerful way to release resistance and begin mindfully creating.

It’s a game…23!

Learning to have fun

When we are fixated on solving our problems or getting what we want out of life, things can seem pretty heavy and serious.

But as our emotional set-point improves, that heavy seriousness doesn’t belong anymore.

I’m discovering as I find myself more and more frequently feeling contentment that the path forward is completely different.

It’s like spending months in painful rehab and recovery and you finally have the strength to stand and walk, and now what? Painful rehab is not the purpose of life. That was just what it felt like to regain movement and strength, but when you’ve regained them life should not continue to feel like painful rehab.

In the Abraham-Hicks teachings the way forward is enjoyment and fun. Enjoyment is an essential part of our reason for being here, and the enjoyment of life should feel like fun.

Resistance to fun?

In years of life defined by negative emotions “fun” was never a welcome answer to my problems.

People told me I should just have fun and enjoy life. But their lives didn’t look like fun to me, and my own experience of fun didn’t seem to offer any answers to my problems.

And I was right: fun was not the answer…relief was the answer.

But now I’m in this turning point where relief has to transform into something else.

It’s like working hard to get out of debt…and then what? You’ve eschewed all kinds of luxuries and enjoyments for the sake of paying off the debt; what do you do with the money now?

How can fun be the answer?

After years of fun not being the answer, now it is the answer. Because when you feel good rather than bad, you’re ready to enjoy things in life.

I guess my problem is that I’ve spent so long looking for the deep and meaningful answers to life that I’m not tuned in to the levity and lightness of real enjoyment. I even overtly rejected fun and enjoyment because meaning seemed more important.

I’m recalibrating, tuning in to fun and enjoyment as the most important aspects of my experience, looking for enjoyment with the knowledge that whatever I focus on becomes bigger in my experience.

Bonus post: don’t forget relief!

This work is subtle.

Can you tell the difference between contentment versus trying to feel contentment?

Trying is never a good idea because it implies a denial or refusal to accept where you are.

It’s easy to think you’re in control, feel content, then find an old negative thought and lose your contentment.

How do you get back up? You can’t force it. You need relief.

Relief.

Relief can be used whenever you are feeling less than content. Relief is the feeling of resistance letting go, bringing you closer to alignment.

I’m told that after contentment, letting go of resistance feels like fun because the positive now outweighs the negative.

So wherever you are, find a feeling of relief until you eventually arrive at contentment (could be ten minutes, could be ten months, depending on subjects and individuals).

Ups and downs

In my experience on this journey I’ve run into two mistakes. The first is trying to get ahead of where I am instead of just feeling relief.

Relief always works, nothing else works better than relief. Use whatever thoughts bring you relief. Relief is a path that can’t fail unless you stumble into the second mistake of thinking:

“Well if relief is so great, more relief will be even greater!!”

This can trip us up because it sounds like we are still finding relief. But in fact we are rejecting relief for the sake of some unlikely thing called “more relief”. But relief is just relief, and rejecting it for any reason is a mistake.

New territory

I was going to say I’ve made three mistakes, but I’m cutting myself some slack on this one because it was new territory for me.

On arriving at the stage of contentment, relief doesn’t work anymore. I wasn’t expecting that, because I’ve never been to contentment so deliberately till now.

I didn’t know how to proceed, and since I was feeling pretty good I decided to try to feel “more good”.

It turns out that “more good” is like “more relief”, spurious and misleading.

What I will try to do next time is just enjoy the good feeling in the same way that I enjoy the relief feeling, without trying to make it more or bigger.

It’s a game…22!

I had an amazing experience recently where I was completely tuned in and aligned. I felt really good, and I knew exactly the right words to say, and I was funny! Perfect timing, the right words, and an unshakable good feeling.

This experience was so good that I wanted more. I had a taste of how good alignment feels and I wanted to return to it as soon as possible.

But it didn’t quite work out that way. I felt like I was making progress in feeling really good and finding alignment, but then I’d come crashing down and feel terrible.

This up and down cycle hit me a couple of times before I understood what was happening: I was desperate to feel alignment again, and rejecting where I was. I was no longer practicing contentment, relief, or feeling better. In other words, I was getting ahead of myself.

The answer…difficult thought it seemed…was to be content once more with how I was feeling and where I was, even though it wasn’t as amazing as alignment.

It sounds paradoxical, but this is still a vibrational game and you get out of it what you put into it. So if you put in contentment you get contentment, if you put in insufficiency you get insufficiency.

Where we trip ourselves up is that we think God responds to the intentionality of our vibrational states. We fear that if we are feeling contentment, God will say “okay, cool, if you’re happy I’ll just leave things the way they are.” We think the squeaky wheel gets the oil.

But that’s not how God operates. God says that if we believe we have received what we ask for, then it will be added to us.

So what does “insufficiency” do? It stops us receiving what we have asked for, and so it becomes more insufficiency.

That’s why chasing anything – including alignment – doesn’t work. Because it is driven by a sense of insufficiency or lack.

But if we can find contentment, we allow ourselves to receive more of the good feelings, ideas, and manifestations that match genuine contentment.

So embrace the paradox. Find contentment wherever you are and more will be added to you.

It’s a game…13!

Omens and miracles.

Yesterday I had an omen. Walking home with my daughter in the morning we came across a scene.

A cyclist and a local resident flagged me for help. It turned out that a mother duck with eight or nine ducklings had lost several of them down a storm-water drain.

She wouldn’t leave them, and the ducks couldn’t get out. The grate was far too heavy to lift without the right tools, and even if we could lift it how could we catch four little ducks down a one metre diameter drain?

The woman decided to call the RSPCA and our rescue party disbanded. As I told my mechanic on the way home: there was nothing we could do. He replied “you mean you did everything you could do.”

Right – it just happened to be nothing.

To me this was so clearly an omen but I had no idea what it meant.

Then today I was doing an exercise on reprocessing traumatic experiences. The idea is to identify aspects of your past experiences that still inform how you feel about yourself in the present. Thoughts like “I’m weak,” or “I’m powerless” and so on.

The next step is to ask what you would prefer to believe about yourself in that past experience instead.

I came up empty. I couldn’t really see a positive aspect to an experience of powerlessness.

And then I thought of the ducklings. Yesterday’s omen.

“I did everything I could”…and it wasn’t “nothing”.

I did everything I could. I didn’t have the right tools for the job. I wasn’t actually powerless, I did everything I could.

Given the circumstances I did everything that I could do, anything anyone could reasonably do.

That’s such a shift in perception. I’m not weak or powerless. Sometimes there’s just not a lot you can do.

This morning on the walk to school the ducks were gone, and the heavy grate showed signs of having been lifted out and replaced. All the dirt and debris had shifted and the edges were clean and clear.

I like to think the RSPCA got someone out to rescue them. It certainly looked that way. Isn’t it nice that there are people willing and able to do things like that?

As for me I’m just so appreciative of the message or omen that was given to me. It’s just such a clear signpost of the path I’m on and the way my life is changing as I find alignment with my inner being and let go of the resistance I’ve been carrying.

It’s a game…12!

When I went through my weight loss process I was incredibly open minded.

I considered all kinds of possibilities: if I didn’t want to stop eating but felt bad about my weight, maybe the answer was to stop feeling bad about my weight?

Maybe my objections to being overweight were just cultural conditioning?

This kind of thinking helped break down my old thought patterns. Even though I eventually concluded that it wasn’t simply cultural conditioning, or a desire to look more attractive to others.

What was it?

In the end it wasn’t about health or attractiveness. What it came down to was that my appearance didn’t match how I felt about myself; and that disconnect between feeling and appearance was the real source of my discomfort.

In much the same way I’ve felt the same kind of disconnect between how I feel about myself and my whole reality.

I’ve only met a couple of people in my life who share this feeling. Most people have areas of life where their expectations don’t match their reality, but for me it is a deeper and more pervasive sense of incongruence.

I used to find some solace in philosophical skepticism because for all we know we really might just be brains floating in jars (a standard philosophical thought-experiment). Reality might not be real. And that thought brought me comfort.

Finding congruence

When I looked in the mirror I felt discord. When I look at reality I feel discord.

Through attempting to understand weight loss I eventually discovered that the discord was already in me. I already felt bad about aspects of life, and I used food as a distraction from it. But the distraction only perpetuated the bad feelings, giving them physical form in weight gain.

Being overweight was a physical representation of my discord.

(As an aside, dis-cord means negation of the heart, from the French.)

I didn’t resolve my discord, I just decided to stop distracting myself with food and by letting myself feel the discord instead I changed my eating habits dramatically and lost weight as a result.

The same process also relieved chronic pain I had suffered.

Surely the same principle applies on a global scale: the discord in reality itself is a representation of the discord in me.

The many things that bother me are distractions and externalisations of something already within me.

Don’t blame external conditions for “making” me feel discord; I already felt it, and denying it has pushed it out into external manifestation.

Reality is therefore doing its job perfectly. It is perfectly reflecting what I feel inside – even if I don’t like it.

Don’t blame reality for something that I’m projecting into it. If reality changed right now I would still feel discord.

Making peace

I like knowing that the discord is in me rather than in reality. I’ll be glad to stop feeding discord into my reality. I’d prefer to just feel the discord in myself directly rather than create external conditions for me to blame.

Either way I feel discord, so I might as well keep it simple and just feel it directly. And in saying that, I notice that I reach out subtly for distraction, in much the same way that I used to look to food for distraction. I subtly reach out to my external reality for some kind of distraction from my own discord.

I appreciate noticing this subtle dynamic. I’d prefer to just feel the discord rather than try to distract myself ineffectively. I’m curious as to how reality will look and feel if I stop using it in a flawed attempt to escape from discord.

It’s okay to feel discord if that is what I’m feeling. It’s healthy to allow myself to feel whatever I’m feeling rather than trying to escape it, which doesn’t work anyway. I appreciate my growing conviction that reality has in fact been perfect in its reflection of my discord. It’s up to me to not project my discord on reality – reality itself has never been at fault in this dynamic.

I’ll end the post here even though it feels unresolved, because I can see that it is better to accept the unresolved feeling than to push for some kind of resolution. Let’s call it the resolution of being okay even if things feel unresolved 😉

It’s a game…11!

Imagine if you just found out you’d won $50 million dollars, and you went about your usual day not telling anyone, just feeling totally relieved at peace, excited and blissful.

People would notice and your day would be different, not because of the money but because you’d allowed yourself to feel good, using the money as an excuse to not care about anything else.

When Abraham-Hicks tells people to find the feeling-place of their desires, this is exactly what they mean. Because what we want is the feeling, first and foremost. But the feeling doesn’t come objectively from money or other conditions.

The feeling comes from allowing and alignment. Allowing yourself to align with your inner being, which is pure positive energy.

After all, if the money came like that your blissful feeling would not last. Your usual attitude would reassert itself. That’s why conditional happiness is so fragile and unattainable.

What we really need is to find the happiness that comes from alignment with your inner being. Because your inner being is the purely positive being that created your physical self, and sustains it always.

Your existence is not designed for conditional happiness. It’s designed to experience contrast, and launch new desires and preferences for the sake of your inner being’s expansion.

Why does the thought of winning so much money feel good? Not because of the money itself – you don’t have that yet – but because you are finally aligning with your inner being’s attitude of ease and freedom and power and possibility.

With that much money you would be free from most economic and many social constraints. A lifetime’s worth of unpleasant thoughts about study, work, income, effort and struggle would be immediately irrelevant. That is why it feels good! People would treat you differently and you would treat yourself differently, or so you imagine.

These imagined benefits are already your inner being’s experience. It has never taken on any burdensome thoughts nor denied itself any of the love and appreciation that are its essence.

Every desire and preference you have can be seen in terms of the good feeling it inspires: love, joy, freedom, expansion, belonging, authenticity; and the reason these feel good is that they are a match to your inner being already.

Your inner being never bought into the dismal world you accepted. That’s why you feels so bad, because it’s so far away from the reality your inner being – your Source, God, the greater part of you – inhabits.

Every time you allow yourself to feel relief, to feel less bad, to feel better – no matter what thought helps you feel it – you are coming more into alignment with your inner being and that is why it feels good.

Keep finding the sure path of relief relief relief, less bad less bad less bad, better better better, and one day it will be good good good. Relief is the path that will take you fully into alignment if you practice it.

It’s a game…09!

I love knowing that happiness is a vibrational game. I love knowing that finding relief always works and is always the way forward no matter what.

I love the feeling of letting go of problems and resistance. I’m so glad to have learned that it’s okay just to sidestep or bypass difficulties – and that’s what letting go means!

I love finding that my difficult moral/character expectations are irrelevant and unnecessary.

I love the relief of just letting go of cares and worries and trusting in my inner being to take care of everything.

I love knowing that my physical self is the focal point of my inner being, that I am created and manifested by my inner being, who focuses only on the wanted aspects of my reality.

I love knowing that I am perfectly created in the eyes of my inner being, that my inner being is the predominant creative power of my reality, and that I only need to allow and receive its creation.

I love knowing that I am already fulfilling my purpose in life, that I have always been fulfilling my purpose in being a focal point for the launching of preferences and desires for the expansion of my inner being and all that is.

I love knowing that my inner being is a match to all my desires, that it has already expanded to embrace those new vibrations, and that it is drawing those desires into physical manifestation.

I love knowing that I couldn’t stop those manifestations even if I wanted to. I love knowing their inevitability and sureness. I love knowing that as I let go and allow and receive, my resistance ceases and my reality immediately changes course as I align with my inner being.

It’s a game…04!

Do you love life?

I didn’t. I ****ing hated it. Despised it. Resented and despaired of it.

And like most people I thought I would like life more if it would change first.

But that’s not how it works. After many years I’m beginning to love life, not because life changed, but because I finally understood that loving feels so much better than hating. And when life feels good it’s hard not to love it.

That’s a little glib, so let me break it down to practical steps.

First I learned that I create my reality through the vibration of my thoughts. My whole experience of life is a perfect match for the vibration of my thoughts.

Second I learned that I could control my focus, and deliberately focus on thoughts that feel better instead of thoughts that feel worse.

Third, after doing that for a while I discovered I could find thoughts that feel really really good, so satisfyingly good that I make time to sit down and write out those thoughts and really relish them because they feel so good. At least three times a day I’m taking time to focus on these really good-feeling thoughts.

Feeling that good regularly also overflows into the rest of life. I’m letting go of negative thoughts and circumstances…because why would I spend time focusing on thoughts that feel bad when I could be enjoying feelings of delight and eagerness and satisfaction?

Delight, eagerness, satisfaction, the more I feel these feelings the stronger and more frequent they become.

So let’s put that together: I’ve gone from being someone who hates life and feels doubly burdened by every unwanted experience and circumstance, to someone who can feel profoundly good feelings at will, and, lo and behold, I find myself beginning to love my experience, my reality, my life.

It’s not so surprising in hindsight, but I had to let go of a lot of resistance to even be open to the idea of feeling better.

And I’m not content with just feeling better…I’m not choosing blissful ignorance over harsh realities. I wouldn’t have followed this path if I hadn’t found to my own conviction that I really do create my reality.

The Abraham-Hicks teachings reconcile perfectly with my spiritual and philosophical knowledge and experience. Feeling good doesn’t just feel good, it’s also why we are here, the purpose of our existence: joy, freedom, expansion…life in its fullness.

It’s a game…03!

As I listen to and read Abraham-Hicks material it’s clearer than ever that the most important thing in any moment is feeling good.

Feeling good sounds so modest to us, like the soundtrack of a movie we’d like it to be there in the background, comfortable and pleasant while we enjoy other things.

Like clement weather, like comfortable clothes, that’s how we imagine it. And when you’re accustomed to feeling bad, comfort and clemency are pretty good.

But if you still think it’s just about feeling good enough to get on with life you’re missing the most significant, most powerful, and most satisfying essence of the teachings.

It’s possible not only to feel good but to feel wonderful. How wonderful? There’s no limit to it. Take your most satisfying, joyful, meaningful moments in life and imagine being able to feel that good every day.

It’s possible, not only is it possible but it’s the whole point of why we are here. We came here to experience joy, freedom, and expansion. The greatest joy is available to us in every moment. We are simply too accustomed to shutting ourselves off from it.

That’s why it’s so helpful to understand it as a vibrational game.

All you need to start feeling better is to find better-feeling thoughts, and there’s no ceiling to those thoughts.

You don’t have to spend your days struggling to feel it. You can feel better right now. If you pick a subject that already feels good you can even feel wonderful right now.

If you believe that you are an extension of what we call God and that the greater part of you is always enjoying the greatest love, satisfaction and delight, then you can use such thoughts to find alignment with that greater part of you and begin feeling the same joy right now.

That joy is the only reason you do anything. And you don’t have to “do” anything in order to allow joy into you. It’s only your focus on joyless resistant thoughts that keeps you apart from it.

We’ve gotten so trained into thinking life has to justify our good feelings…we think we need accomplishments or circumstances to make us feel good. But the whole time we are here, in each moment, we can turn our attention to thoughts that feel good and soften and disengage from thoughts that don’t.

Use your powerful mind to give attention to the most soothing, pleasing, satisfying thoughts you can find, and appreciate how good it feels.