Sorry for the profanity, but it proved necessary!
Everyone finds meditation difficult, or so we’re told. I found it so difficult that for years I gave up on it.
But my need for meditation is now too great for me to try and fail and give up again.
I need it, because it is the easiest and most direct way to get into what Abraham-Hicks call “the receptive mode”.
The receptive mode is a state of mind where we let go of resistant thoughts and come into alignment with our inner being.
Why is this so important? It’s important because we have spent our whole lives asking for things, but so little time receiving them. The backlog of things we have asked for in life is immense, but most of us continue to live in the asking mode – focusing on what we don’t want, and thereby holding ourselves apart from what we do want.
The question and answer exist on different levels. We can’t solve problems with the same thinking that created them.
When I meditate my breathing goes very shallow and brief. My whole body feels tense and uncomfortable and I feel agitated and oppressed.
Sound like fun?
For years I’d read stuff about peace and tranquility and relaxation and slow deep breaths.
No one said it was ok to have short shallow breaths or to feel deeply uncomfortable and riven with tension and unpleasant somatic sensations.
If they did acknowledge this kind of experience it was quickly subsumed in the exhortation to persist and non-judgementally allow the sensations to pass, with the promise that it will eventually improve.
Forget about a tranquil smile and serene expression; my meditation face is an angry scowl, prompting my wife to ask if I’m okay.
What the fuck is going on?
What’s going on is that I have a lot of tension and stress and resistance in me, and when I meditate it all comes to the surface.
This is not a problem, it’s the whole point.
Yet I tried to feel serene and tranquil and force myself to relax and breath deeply.
So I’ve arrived at the blissful conclusion that meditation is fucking horrible, and that’s good because it means I already feel fucking horrible and at last I’m giving myself the space and time for that resistance and tension to resolve itself.
…which is something I’ve been “asking” for, and in my meditation am beginning to receive.
So forget about feeling good and forget about any rules. Meditation, I’ve recently confirmed with a professional, is simply about anchoring your attention on something and keeping it there.
And from the A-H perspective it’s that time spent without resistant thoughts that gets you into the receptive mode, so you can finally let in all the wonderful things you’ve been asking for all your life.