What are desires?

Bonus post!

In the Abraham-Hicks teachings preferences and desires are central.

The basic framework is “ask and it is given”:

1. Experience of contrast causes us to launch “rockets” of desire, consciously or not.

2. Source/inner being immediately expands to become a vibrational match to our desires.

3. We allow ourselves to keep up with the expansion of our inner being, and thereby become a match to our desires too.

Step 1 and 2 happen automatically and immediately. We can’t help but launch these rockets of desire and preference all the time, and our inner being becomes a match in that same moment.

From a vibrational standpoint our desire is already granted. But step 3 depends on us, our free will and control of our attention and focus.

If we focus in alignment with our inner being then we are a vibrational match and our physical reality will change to reflect our vibrational reality.

But if we focus out of alignment, this misalignment is reflected in our physical reality instead.

What A-H calls “the art of allowing” is learning to focus on things that feel good, stay in alignment, and therefore easily go with the expansion of our inner being.

What is desire?

Not that we need to know this, but it’s so cool I wanted to share it.

Recently I heard A-H describe in passing how brief most of our moments of alignment are before we throw ourselves into misalignment once more.

So brief in fact that they describe our desires as “rockets”; because desires are in fact moments of pure alignment.

Desire is a brief instance of alignment called forth and allowed by us in response to contrasting experience.

Desire is not yearning or need or hunger – it’s a moment of calling on our inner being with clarity and purpose in response to contrast. It could be so brief we don’t notice it, or it could be big enough that we begin calling on it more and more.

So it makes sense why step 1 and step 2 are so effortless and close together: the moment of asking is the moment of answering.

We wordlessly ask and the asking is itself an invocation of our inner being’s power – grace.

That is why desires feel so good! They are the crack in our resistance through which the light streams in.

But most of us turn away from that light and focus on the darkness. “How is this desire going to be fulfilled? How can I make it happen? It doesn’t seem very realistic! I’ve never heard of this kind of thing happening easily. I really wish it would happen! I need it to happen!”

We end up focused negatively on the subject rather than positively on the desire.

And yet the desire is already its own answer. Vibrationally the desire already feels good if we don’t squelch it wig resistant thoughts.

That is the art of allowing – to not squelch and stifle our good feeling thoughts and desires with bad feeling ones.

Doesn’t matter how “true” or “justified” those bad feeling thoughts feel. If you feel bad you are focused out of alignment and you cannot share in the joy and freedom and expansion of your inner being.

So if you can feel good about your desires, then do that. If you can’t, then find anything else to feel good about, or better, or less bad, or just relief.

You don’t ever need to focus on your desires because your inner being has already become them. You just need to find your way into alignment, and that’s the path of caring a out how you feel and finding a way to feel better.

It’s a game…15!

Just find feelings of relief.

The whole point of alignment is to see things the same way that your inner being sees them.

In that sense it’s incredibly simple. Your inner being sees both the wanted and unwanted in your experience but only ever focuses on the wanted.

If you could always focus on the wanted you too would feel good and your life would change for the better.

But if you’ve been feeling very bad for a long time it can be difficult to even imagine or find thoughts about the wanted aspects of life.

Look at my example: I struggled to genuinely feel good about things in my life, and it turned out my underlying thoughts were incredibly bleak – thoughts full of hate and resentment to life and opposition to my own existence!

It’s a bit like wanting to have more money, but also thinking money is the root of all evil and should be avoided. A bit of a conflict.

So you feel really bad, and you struggle to find positive or inspiring thoughts. The answer is to simply look for thoughts or things that bring a feeling of relief, and keep on allowing yourself to feel relief.

Relief is how it feels when you move in a more positive direction from a negative starting point. Relief will help you get from the most negative feelings of powerlessness gradually tending in the direction of contentment.

Relief is the feeling of just letting the current carry you.

Relief is always right and it always works.

It’s a relief to know that I create my reality.

It’s a relief to know that my inner being is pure positive energy.

It’s a relief to know that I don’t have to do anything or make any effort.

It’s a relief knowing that all my desires are fulfilled.

It’s a relief knowing that relief is always the answer.

It’s a game…14!

Turned a corner.

Post number 12 was very powerful for me.

By the end I’d realised there was a sense of discord within me that I had been projecting onto my reality, giving rise to more and more discordant situations and conditions.

Sitting with that sense of inner discord, I didn’t try to pick it apart but instead looked for relief, since every good idea or insight I’ve ever had has been received by me after feeling ease and relief.

Sure enough it soon came to me that the discord I feel is due to a conflict between my physical self and my inner being.

My inner being wants me to be here, living and enjoying life, creating my reality by finding alignment.

But for many years I, my physical self, just wanted it to be over. Conditions were once so unwanted that I decided there was no value taking part in life, and that resistance to my own existence here is the essence of my discord.

Things have changed. I’ve learned a lot. And most importantly I’ve learned that this resistance to existing here in physical reality doesn’t feel very good.

Abraham says that words don’t teach, experience teaches. Sure enough, the grindingly awful experience of profound discord has taught me that it would be nice to feel better. It would be nice to enjoy life for once. It would be nice to experience the kind of treasures I’ve been storing up “in heaven”.

It would be nice to experience life without discord, to feel congruity between my self and my reality.

And with that, I feel I’ve turned a corner.

It’s a game…13!

Omens and miracles.

Yesterday I had an omen. Walking home with my daughter in the morning we came across a scene.

A cyclist and a local resident flagged me for help. It turned out that a mother duck with eight or nine ducklings had lost several of them down a storm-water drain.

She wouldn’t leave them, and the ducks couldn’t get out. The grate was far too heavy to lift without the right tools, and even if we could lift it how could we catch four little ducks down a one metre diameter drain?

The woman decided to call the RSPCA and our rescue party disbanded. As I told my mechanic on the way home: there was nothing we could do. He replied “you mean you did everything you could do.”

Right – it just happened to be nothing.

To me this was so clearly an omen but I had no idea what it meant.

Then today I was doing an exercise on reprocessing traumatic experiences. The idea is to identify aspects of your past experiences that still inform how you feel about yourself in the present. Thoughts like “I’m weak,” or “I’m powerless” and so on.

The next step is to ask what you would prefer to believe about yourself in that past experience instead.

I came up empty. I couldn’t really see a positive aspect to an experience of powerlessness.

And then I thought of the ducklings. Yesterday’s omen.

“I did everything I could”…and it wasn’t “nothing”.

I did everything I could. I didn’t have the right tools for the job. I wasn’t actually powerless, I did everything I could.

Given the circumstances I did everything that I could do, anything anyone could reasonably do.

That’s such a shift in perception. I’m not weak or powerless. Sometimes there’s just not a lot you can do.

This morning on the walk to school the ducks were gone, and the heavy grate showed signs of having been lifted out and replaced. All the dirt and debris had shifted and the edges were clean and clear.

I like to think the RSPCA got someone out to rescue them. It certainly looked that way. Isn’t it nice that there are people willing and able to do things like that?

As for me I’m just so appreciative of the message or omen that was given to me. It’s just such a clear signpost of the path I’m on and the way my life is changing as I find alignment with my inner being and let go of the resistance I’ve been carrying.

It’s a game…12!

When I went through my weight loss process I was incredibly open minded.

I considered all kinds of possibilities: if I didn’t want to stop eating but felt bad about my weight, maybe the answer was to stop feeling bad about my weight?

Maybe my objections to being overweight were just cultural conditioning?

This kind of thinking helped break down my old thought patterns. Even though I eventually concluded that it wasn’t simply cultural conditioning, or a desire to look more attractive to others.

What was it?

In the end it wasn’t about health or attractiveness. What it came down to was that my appearance didn’t match how I felt about myself; and that disconnect between feeling and appearance was the real source of my discomfort.

In much the same way I’ve felt the same kind of disconnect between how I feel about myself and my whole reality.

I’ve only met a couple of people in my life who share this feeling. Most people have areas of life where their expectations don’t match their reality, but for me it is a deeper and more pervasive sense of incongruence.

I used to find some solace in philosophical skepticism because for all we know we really might just be brains floating in jars (a standard philosophical thought-experiment). Reality might not be real. And that thought brought me comfort.

Finding congruence

When I looked in the mirror I felt discord. When I look at reality I feel discord.

Through attempting to understand weight loss I eventually discovered that the discord was already in me. I already felt bad about aspects of life, and I used food as a distraction from it. But the distraction only perpetuated the bad feelings, giving them physical form in weight gain.

Being overweight was a physical representation of my discord.

(As an aside, dis-cord means negation of the heart, from the French.)

I didn’t resolve my discord, I just decided to stop distracting myself with food and by letting myself feel the discord instead I changed my eating habits dramatically and lost weight as a result.

The same process also relieved chronic pain I had suffered.

Surely the same principle applies on a global scale: the discord in reality itself is a representation of the discord in me.

The many things that bother me are distractions and externalisations of something already within me.

Don’t blame external conditions for “making” me feel discord; I already felt it, and denying it has pushed it out into external manifestation.

Reality is therefore doing its job perfectly. It is perfectly reflecting what I feel inside – even if I don’t like it.

Don’t blame reality for something that I’m projecting into it. If reality changed right now I would still feel discord.

Making peace

I like knowing that the discord is in me rather than in reality. I’ll be glad to stop feeding discord into my reality. I’d prefer to just feel the discord in myself directly rather than create external conditions for me to blame.

Either way I feel discord, so I might as well keep it simple and just feel it directly. And in saying that, I notice that I reach out subtly for distraction, in much the same way that I used to look to food for distraction. I subtly reach out to my external reality for some kind of distraction from my own discord.

I appreciate noticing this subtle dynamic. I’d prefer to just feel the discord rather than try to distract myself ineffectively. I’m curious as to how reality will look and feel if I stop using it in a flawed attempt to escape from discord.

It’s okay to feel discord if that is what I’m feeling. It’s healthy to allow myself to feel whatever I’m feeling rather than trying to escape it, which doesn’t work anyway. I appreciate my growing conviction that reality has in fact been perfect in its reflection of my discord. It’s up to me to not project my discord on reality – reality itself has never been at fault in this dynamic.

I’ll end the post here even though it feels unresolved, because I can see that it is better to accept the unresolved feeling than to push for some kind of resolution. Let’s call it the resolution of being okay even if things feel unresolved 😉

It’s a game…11!

Imagine if you just found out you’d won $50 million dollars, and you went about your usual day not telling anyone, just feeling totally relieved at peace, excited and blissful.

People would notice and your day would be different, not because of the money but because you’d allowed yourself to feel good, using the money as an excuse to not care about anything else.

When Abraham-Hicks tells people to find the feeling-place of their desires, this is exactly what they mean. Because what we want is the feeling, first and foremost. But the feeling doesn’t come objectively from money or other conditions.

The feeling comes from allowing and alignment. Allowing yourself to align with your inner being, which is pure positive energy.

After all, if the money came like that your blissful feeling would not last. Your usual attitude would reassert itself. That’s why conditional happiness is so fragile and unattainable.

What we really need is to find the happiness that comes from alignment with your inner being. Because your inner being is the purely positive being that created your physical self, and sustains it always.

Your existence is not designed for conditional happiness. It’s designed to experience contrast, and launch new desires and preferences for the sake of your inner being’s expansion.

Why does the thought of winning so much money feel good? Not because of the money itself – you don’t have that yet – but because you are finally aligning with your inner being’s attitude of ease and freedom and power and possibility.

With that much money you would be free from most economic and many social constraints. A lifetime’s worth of unpleasant thoughts about study, work, income, effort and struggle would be immediately irrelevant. That is why it feels good! People would treat you differently and you would treat yourself differently, or so you imagine.

These imagined benefits are already your inner being’s experience. It has never taken on any burdensome thoughts nor denied itself any of the love and appreciation that are its essence.

Every desire and preference you have can be seen in terms of the good feeling it inspires: love, joy, freedom, expansion, belonging, authenticity; and the reason these feel good is that they are a match to your inner being already.

Your inner being never bought into the dismal world you accepted. That’s why you feels so bad, because it’s so far away from the reality your inner being – your Source, God, the greater part of you – inhabits.

Every time you allow yourself to feel relief, to feel less bad, to feel better – no matter what thought helps you feel it – you are coming more into alignment with your inner being and that is why it feels good.

Keep finding the sure path of relief relief relief, less bad less bad less bad, better better better, and one day it will be good good good. Relief is the path that will take you fully into alignment if you practice it.

It’s a game…10!

When I used to read fantasy books as a kid I’d imagine myself in one of those worlds and invariably I’d end up wanting to be a magician or a sorcerer or wizard.

Not just because they were the most powerful…but because their power implied a complete understanding of how reality really works.

Recently it dawned on me that this is what I really want, and what I am looking for in the Abraham-Hicks material.

While I want abundant wealth and a beautiful home and good relationships and health, what I truly desire is to understand and master my relationship with reality itself.

For a long time I’ve felt there’s something “off” in my relationship with reality. Something I wasn’t understanding or something I’d misunderstood.

In A-H terms I’ve learned that it’s really a three-way relationship: my physical self, my inner being, and reality.

I want to heal this relationship. Along the way I’ve learned that my physical self is the creation of my inner being. I exist as a point of focus for experiencing physical reality, but the greater part of me is non-physical.

I’ve also learned that reality reflects the vibrational point of attraction for both my inner being and my physical self.

My inner being is always positive. It’s a vibrational match for all my desires and preferences, and while it is aware of my whole experience it never focuses on the unwanted or negative aspects.

When my physical self and my inner being are aligned in their focus I experience this alignment in the form of good feeling emotions. But when my physical self focuses towards unwanted or negative things it becomes misaligned with my inner being and I experience that misalignment as negative emotion.

So while my inner being is always attracting pleasing, satisfying, desirable conditions to itself, my physical self has the potential to attract unpleasant, unwanted, undesirable conditions. My reality is the culmination of these elements.

What I really desire is to have clarity in this relationship with my inner being and reality, to truly understand what works and what doesn’t. I want to be clear and knowing in myself at every moment whether I am allowing my inner being to dominate, or resisting it with misaligned focus.

While people avow having changed their lives for the better using the A-H teachings, for me a change for the better entails the repair, restoration, and satisfying mastery of this relationship at the core of my existence.

It’s a game…09!

I love knowing that happiness is a vibrational game. I love knowing that finding relief always works and is always the way forward no matter what.

I love the feeling of letting go of problems and resistance. I’m so glad to have learned that it’s okay just to sidestep or bypass difficulties – and that’s what letting go means!

I love finding that my difficult moral/character expectations are irrelevant and unnecessary.

I love the relief of just letting go of cares and worries and trusting in my inner being to take care of everything.

I love knowing that my physical self is the focal point of my inner being, that I am created and manifested by my inner being, who focuses only on the wanted aspects of my reality.

I love knowing that I am perfectly created in the eyes of my inner being, that my inner being is the predominant creative power of my reality, and that I only need to allow and receive its creation.

I love knowing that I am already fulfilling my purpose in life, that I have always been fulfilling my purpose in being a focal point for the launching of preferences and desires for the expansion of my inner being and all that is.

I love knowing that my inner being is a match to all my desires, that it has already expanded to embrace those new vibrations, and that it is drawing those desires into physical manifestation.

I love knowing that I couldn’t stop those manifestations even if I wanted to. I love knowing their inevitability and sureness. I love knowing that as I let go and allow and receive, my resistance ceases and my reality immediately changes course as I align with my inner being.

It’s a game…08!

In the Abraham-Hicks teaching it’s the vibration of our thoughts relative to the vibration of our inner being (God) that determines our feelings and manifest reality.

That’s why I’m running with this idea that happiness is a vibrational game.

Our inner being is always a match to the fulfilment of our desires. Our inner being is like the expanded version of our physical being, and we would be in alignment right now if we would only keep up with our desires rather than resisting them.

One thing I’m discovering is that alignment works on many levels. It’s reflexive and meta-cognitive, in the sense that I can have resistance or alignment about the subjects of resistance and alignment.

Or to make it much simpler: it doesn’t matter if you are resisting because you think “my desires are really unrealistic” or because you think “finding alignment is really difficult”. Resistance is resistance no matter what the subject, it feels bad and brings you more bad-feeling experiences.

Learning lessons

Early on in my search for meaning, I accepted the ideas that we are here in this life to “learn lessons” of a moral or spiritual nature, and that these lessons derived from a kind of moral order at work in the universe.

For me this translates into an expectation of having to face harsh truths for my own good. It’s an outlook that presumes an external moral framework much like the painful character growth in narrative fiction.

So even as I accept that I create my reality and my inner being is a match to my desires, and vibrational alignment will be reflected in the feelings I feel and the life that unfolds for me, at the same time part of me insists that it will also include tough and unwanted moral lessons that are both necessary and beneficial.

It’s an old spiritual trope that we have to embrace pain and fear and death in order to receive happiness and life and joy.

Suspicious beliefs

But I’m suspicious of these thoughts. They match a little too precisely some negative childhood experiences and attitudes I developed to make sense of unhappiness and fear.

It’s an attitude that doesn’t really serve me. And since it feels bad to me, that’s my indication that it’s out of alignment with my inner being.

There is no lesson that must be learned or sacrifice that must be made or hard personal change that must be undertaken to justify having what I desire in life.

Whoever told me that I had to earn external validation before I could have what I wanted was just suiting themselves.

I don’t need moral lessons. It’s not a moral game, it’s a vibrational game. And the thought that I have to pay a price or earn a reward or prove my worth or become worthy of my desires is resistance.

Because the whole point of our desires is that we want to feel good. What preconditions are there on feeling good? Only that we focus on things that feel good to us. Nothing else.

I don’t need anyone else’s permission to feel good; not God’s, not my family’s, not my friends, not authorities and not some vague moral principles either. Feeling good is intrinsic and it arises from our alignment with God, our inner being, unconditional grace and love.

It’s a game…07!

A friend shared with me an A-H quote on allowing as the ideal state of being to inhabit.

So I’ve been giving it a try, letting “allowing” be my response to everything.

And yeah it’s noticeable.

I’m noticing that allowing is different from my usual response to things.

I’m noticing that allowing means trusting that things will be okay.

And I’m noticing immediate changes in my daily experience as a result of my allowing attitude.

What is allowing?

In the A-H teachings, allowing means taking a receptive attitude to life, on the understanding that everything in life is coming to us in response to our vibration.

Resistance and control and effort and struggle only bring us more of those states. By allowing instead we deactivate that resistance.

The quickest way to change our experience for the better is paradoxically to stop trying to change it. Allowing is a great way to do that, to get into the receptive mode and enjoy a life that we create rather than control.