Don’t try to lose weight, try to fix your relationship with food.
That was the central point of my book The Weight-Loss Paradox. In hindsight I think it worked for me precisely because it took my focus away from the vexed issue of weight loss, and onto the real problem of how I use food.
Plenty of people can lose weight by just restricting their intake, with no further thought required. But for many of us eating less is a big challenge.
That’s why we need all our focus to be on fixing the problem – our relationship with food – not on the outcome of weight loss.
Being overweight is not the problem. It’s natural and healthy to be overweight if we consistently overeat. Really take that on board: my body weight is not the problem. I’m not trying to lose weight. I’m trying to bring order and balance to how and when and why I eat.
I’m not trying to lose weight. My weight is merely an indicator of my eating habits. There is nothing wrong with my weight, but there is something wrong with the way I use food.
It’s like drinking too much. There’s something wrong in drinking too much, hangovers and other health problems are just a side-effect and indicator that there is something wrong.
Saying “I’m trying to have fewer hangovers, but it’s just so hard!” sounds weird, but that’s how many of us approach weight-loss.
Being hungover every day is a good reason to do something about your drinking habits. Being overweight is a good reason to examine your eating habits. But in the end the solution must be in finding a renewed, healthier relationship with food and drink; a more balanced and reasonable way of using them.