Turned a corner.
Post number 12 was very powerful for me.
By the end I’d realised there was a sense of discord within me that I had been projecting onto my reality, giving rise to more and more discordant situations and conditions.
Sitting with that sense of inner discord, I didn’t try to pick it apart but instead looked for relief, since every good idea or insight I’ve ever had has been received by me after feeling ease and relief.
Sure enough it soon came to me that the discord I feel is due to a conflict between my physical self and my inner being.
My inner being wants me to be here, living and enjoying life, creating my reality by finding alignment.
But for many years I, my physical self, just wanted it to be over. Conditions were once so unwanted that I decided there was no value taking part in life, and that resistance to my own existence here is the essence of my discord.
Things have changed. I’ve learned a lot. And most importantly I’ve learned that this resistance to existing here in physical reality doesn’t feel very good.
Abraham says that words don’t teach, experience teaches. Sure enough, the grindingly awful experience of profound discord has taught me that it would be nice to feel better. It would be nice to enjoy life for once. It would be nice to experience the kind of treasures I’ve been storing up “in heaven”.
It would be nice to experience life without discord, to feel congruity between my self and my reality.
And with that, I feel I’ve turned a corner.