Practicing happiness 12

How to…

Change of pace: I want to share something that is working really well for me.

Is there one thing in your life you reliably and consistently turn to and feel good about? Would you like to extend that good feeling to other aspects of life?

That’s what I’m working on now.

1. Identify something in your life that feels reliably good. Watching series, playing music, drinking a glass of wine after a long day at work, playing sport, whatever works for you.

2. Recognise that when you feel good it’s not the thing making you feel good, it’s how you’re managing your thoughts/vibration.

3. Examine how you’re doing that. When I have a glass of wine in the evening I have an expectation that it will be a relaxing and enjoyable way to unwind. I also have a strong intention that I will enjoy it and not let anything interrupt my enjoyment. Finally, I unconsciously choose thoughts and points of focus that match my intention.

I don’t pour the wine and then get distracted. I don’t pour the wine and think about the worst things that come to mind. I don’t pour the wine and let people interrupt me. I dont pour the wine and start criticising the wine quality.

No, I’ve learned how to enjoy wine-time and it has very clear albeit unconscious parameters.

4. Understand that it’s not the wine that creates this experience, it’s you.

5. Consider your expectations, intentions and choices at other times when you don’t feel so good. Household chores, study or work, certain social interactions…what are your expectations, intentions and choices in those situations?

The fact is that you have the same ability to use your expectations and intentions to steer all your experiences, and the same ability to choose your thoughts and words with care, opting for better feeling ones all the way.

Imagine if you could have that wonderful relaxed and easy feeling all the time…not by drinking wine all the time obviously, but by learning from your good experiences and the powerful skills you unwittingly deploy.

This isn’t about trying to put a “happy face sticker” over your bad feelings. It may not work for you, it may require other elements I’m not fully conscious of. But for me it is a very clear “aha!” moment of knowing full-well that I am already creating my experience in one set of circumstances, and why not extend that creation into others?

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