I’ve had a prejudice against “ordinary” life for years. Now I’m seeing how that prejudice interferes with my own happiness.
It’s based on unhappy childhood memories and compounded by threads of cultural elitism.
Are you bohemian or bourgeois?
I’d had enough of bourgeois life and attitudes and culture, but bohemian lifestyles didn’t offer much hope of lasting happiness, so I continued in my search holding only to a disdain for everything normal, mundane, and predictable.
My main fear was getting “stuck” in a meaningless existence. But nor could I find my own meaning either.
I’m now married with children, and though we aren’t conventional (whatever that means) I’m still dogged by the fear of being happy with a “meaningless” life.
(It’s okay folks, my wife knows this is my own issue to deal with.)
But how stupid is it to be sitting here afraid of being happy with all the good things in life, just because I’m worried I might be embracing something that resembles a very unhappy period of my life?
Say that out loud again….
I’ve never known it with such clarity but there it is: my teenaged, horribly depressed conviction that feeling miserable was a symptom of a bourgeois existence.
Say that out loud: I’m afraid that if I am happy right now I’ll be miserable. 😂
Momentum of old thoughts
Part of me – some old thoughts – still thinks happiness lies in escaping “ordinary” life.
The rest of me knows that there’s no such thing as ordinary life. There’s just my life, and what I do with it is up to me.
Those old thoughts had some momentum and it was like they kept pushing and running without taking the time for an update.
It’s like these different parts of me had never spoken to each other.
But now it’s coming together, through the grace of finding relief and allowing happiness in bit-by-bit.
I’m seeing now that this old fear and need to “escape” was just mistaken. It wasn’t conditions of life I wanted to escape from, it was misaligned thoughts and the bad feelings that followed.
What is “ordinary”?
I’ve said it before, but ordinary really doesn’t matter. If you look at life from the perspective of creating your reality via your thoughts and feelings, allowing God’s blessings to flow to you, then what does ordinary have to do with anything?
It doesn’t matter what other people do or what is popular or commonplace where you live.
What matters is what you think and how your thoughts and perspectives feel to you. Find the thoughts that feel good, and you are finding your own alignment with God, whether that leaves you loving white picket fences or something totally different.