I can feel all of this work coming together.
I’m laughing a lot more and feeling good a lot more.
I’m really sensitive to “old stories” that don’t feel good.
In fact some things that felt good before – like my morning routine of getting my son ready for school – don’t feel so good now.
I want it to be an easier, more enjoyable process for us both. And it’s as if being happier has raised my expectations.
I don’t want to rush, and I don’t want to feel pressed or pressured. So I won’t.
It actually doesn’t matter if he’s late for school. What matters is that he gets enough sleep and we have a good time together.
What I love is walking him to school, playing the feeling game together, talking about how good the day is going to be.
I love the trees along our walk, especially the enormous fir tree in front of the old college.
I want to live among trees like that. That’s my dream.
I wrote all that just minutes before waking him up. While his breakfast cooked I helped him get dressed, and now he’s 90% ready, with 10 mins to go, and he’s still able to watch his favourite YouTube channel.
It can be easy, if we allow it to be! And we allow it by focusing on what we want and really feeling it.
The walk was fun. If I focused on getting there my son got slower and more tired. But if I focused on enjoying the walk myself he sped up to walk alongside me.
We ran into an old friend on the way there and she stopped to chat as we walked along.
I’m now sitting in a garden beneath the amazing fir tree while I finish this post and ask myself “what next?”
I was contemplating wrapping up this Blessings series because I missed a day and wasn’t sure how to keep it going.But I can see that’s coming from a feeling of worry, when really there’s nothing about blogging that should inspire worry.
So I’ll keep letting it evolve and see where it takes me.
For now I think my original purpose has been served. Counting my blessings changed my perspective of what blessings are and how many I have.
It’s beyond counting now. Yet the focus on appreciating what is in my life is still valuable.
For appreciation to become my dominant feeling I need to practise it.