When s*** hits the fan.
I focus on feeling good. I make headway, my mood rises, I appreciate subtle and obvious changes around me.
And then something unwanted shows up. A bad mood hits me from “out of nowhere”, or an issue arises that sparks bad feelings and inner turmoil.
But over time I adapt and adjust and the conflict is resolved and…looking back, I’m changed by it.
I’m growing by facing these unwanted things and allowing the wanted instead.
And though at first it was dire and stomach-churning and dramatic and full of fear, over time and with practice the process has gotten easier.
Abraham describes it as “learning to handle contrast better”.
Not only can we learn to allow better-feeling thoughts on contrast-rich subjects, but we can also allow greater ease and comfort in the process.
We can even get to the point of appreciating contrast because it inspires the expansion and growth that is the whole point of our life here.
Let it be easy!
At first I wanted to make rapid, powerful changes to my mood and my life.
But people who have done this advise against it. Don’t be in a hurry, take it easy.
The whole point of life is to enjoy the journey. And while we might tell ourselves we are ready to go straight from utterly depressed to profoundly joyful in an instant, there’s actually a desperation and a denial of enjoyment in that pledge.
The harder you push, the more it hurts, not least because you’re used to feeling bad and so your efforts to “try harder” tend to be instinctively geared to more pain and struggle.
“Feel good” really is too easy an answer for most of us. It takes time to accept that there’s no benefit to pushing and no merit to hurting along the way.
So let it be easy! Don’t worry! The path of greatest ease is the path of least resistance and of most allowing.
There’s no rush. Don’t make it an uphill climb; the point after all is to learn how to feel better, and you can’t struggle to make that happen, earn it through suffering, or make it come faster by gritting your teeth in bitterness.