Repentance for the disenchanted

I succumbed to disenchantment at a young age and took for truth my fear that there was nothing magical or mysterious in this world.

That’s what led me to investigate religion. Not the outer form but the inner essence, the mystics and sages and saints who performed strange feats and spoke of an utterly different relationship with reality.

I divided life into the sacred and the mundane, the mysterious and the miserable.

Yet this very division was an error that made most of life a misery to me, a self-fulfilling prophecy of disenchantment as I tried to push back against the banality around me.

Turning mysticism inside out

All the mystics spoke of a transformed vision of reality. They went to the very heart of existence and their eyes were opened to the true beauty of all things.

I tried to follow the same path, but my experiences were fleeting, ironically because I was so desperate for that transformation.

Like a clingy guy who pushes people away with his neediness, I was so fierce in my disenchantment that even God couldn’t make me appreciate this “ordinary” existence.

Even now I take for granted my deep antipathy for modern life. I’ve written screeds that only touch upon my full disdain for modern ugliness and meaninglessness, projecting my own unhappiness onto an entire planet.

All the this time I never thought disenchantment might be my fault, something I was doing rather than being done to me.

Too many people talk about having to grow up and accept harsh realities of life, it can’t be just me that resents and despairs of it, right?

No, it’s not just me. But that doesn’t make it the truth either. A delusion can be shared but that doesn’t make it reality.

I’m the one who chose to see the world that way, and of course I found evidence to support my choice.

It may have been an unconscious choice but it was still a choice, and one I repeated over and over for years.

Forgiving reality

Forgiveness might not be the right word but forgiving reality for being mundane, crappy, ugly, and bland goes some way to realising that maybe it isn’t like that after all.

Repentance might not be the right word either, but perhaps we disenchanted cynical and disillusioned people can accept that this very attitude of ours is what keeps us stuck in an unwanted reality.

I’m the one focusing on the ugliness and banality around me. I’m the one telling a story about a bleak and empty world. I’m the one wishing life was different and constantly reminding myself “but it’s not!”

I’m the one who approached mysticism as a way to transform the unwanted reality that I myself created.

And I’m also the one who undermined every moment of transcendence, quickly checking to see if things had “changed” yet.

In the Abraham Hicks material that’s called “keeping score” and it tends to undermine any actual progress in feeling better.

Feeling better about life

There’s a subtle yet profound difference between clinging to a problem and receiving a solution.

Often people sound like they are wanting a solution when in fact they just want to reiterate their problems.

But after a while it becomes obvious.

It’s obvious to me that my focus has been firmly on the “problem”, my unwanted aspects of life.

I’ve lived and breathed disenchantment, mistaking it for truth and reinforcing my own powerlessness and despair.

And how was that working out for me?

It’s time to take a deep breath and appreciate that the disenchantment was in my thoughts alone.

I create my reality, and by focusing on thoughts of disenchantment and banality I created more of the same.

But I also have the power to change my focus. I can find thoughts that match the enchantment, wonder, and excitement I have yearned for.

I can re-enchant reality as easily as finding thoughts that feel good to me.

A good place to start would be the exact opposite of the unwanted. If I don’t want disenchantment and banality then what do I want? What story would I prefer and to tell?

And if the answer is “I don’t know” then that right there was the real problem all along. Not reality, not banality, not other people, but my own unfamiliarity with the stuff of my desires.

4 thoughts on “Repentance for the disenchanted

  1. Philippians 2
    (Isaiah 52:13-15)

    5For let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: 6Who being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: 7But emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in the likeness of men, and in habit found as a man. 8He humbled himself, becoming obedient unto death, even to the death of the cross. 9For which cause God also hath exalted him, and hath given him a name which is above all names: 10That in the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those that are in heaven, on earth, and under the earth: 11And that every tongue should confess that the Lord Jesus Christ is in the glory of God the Father.
    SUCH AN IDEAL /\ WOULD THEN NOT ALIGN WITH HICK’S “IDEAL”
    Tho I have issues with some of how Paul orders his thought..nevertheless all scripture as scripture says is useful for instruction and perfection of ones soul when taken as a whole

    • Well you say that, but then you have an interpretation of Jesus that most Christians would not share either.
      “11And that every tongue should confess that the Lord Jesus Christ is in the glory of God the Father.”
      Actually I think Hicks would agree to that, since they are saying that we don’t die, but return to “source” which is their word for God.

  2. contradiction of “the teachings of Abraham.” Belittling conventional medicine on many occasions, Esther Hicks (in her Abraham persona) said that a near immediate return to health was possible, simply by changing vibrations. It would take as little as an afternoon, she said. While she was able to blame the victims of cancer and other illnesses by pointing out that they just weren’t getting their vibrations right, she chose silence when it came to the sick man who slept next to Abraham for 25 years and had been described by her as the best at managing his vibration of anyone alive.
    Silence is especially golden when it protects the cash flow.

    So, devastating was the news of Jerry Hicks illness and so clearly did it threaten to expose Abraham Hicks teachings as fake that, after a clumsy, unethical effort to blame his hospitalization on a spider bite, they released a convoluted story about how he went for “heavy chemotherapy” as the “path of least resistance,” a throwback to older, forgotten “teachings.”

    Not until Jerry Hicks died did Esther concede that he’d been battling leukemia. She offered no explanation about why he hadn’t simply followed Abraham’s teachings, opting instead for a saccharine monologue that had little to say in tribute to her decease partner and a lot about herself.

    • If you’re looking for contradiction you’re going to find more of it. If you’re happy in your beliefs and practice, then be happy. The person who wrote those words doesn’t sound very happy.
      So what are they (or you) hoping to achieve? I can look for criticisms myself, but I’m not really interested in being more cynical and pessimistic. I’ve “tried on” the point of view espoused in those words you’ve quoted, for some years, and I didn’t like how I felt.
      Besides, we can offer quite reasonable responses easily, can’t we? No one ever said Jerry was special. No one ever said Jerry would live forever. In fact the opposite. None of us intends to live forever. That’s not why we’re here.
      In my opinion the separation between Esther and “Abraham” is good because no one expects Esther to be an exemplar of the teachings she is sharing. That would be like expecting a poet to always speak in metre and rhyme.

      “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
      Why search for things that don’t feel good?

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